Discoveries
by Elsha
Summary: For Theodore Nott and Anne Fairleigh, the new school year at Hogwarts proves that some things change in unforeseeable ways and some stay almost the same. Sequel to Distractions and Discussions.
1. Plus ça change

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Discoveries

A/N: So, sixth year finally begins. It took a long time before the plot for this settled in my mind. Unlike previous stories, I have not finished all of it before posting, so it will take longer to post than other things have. The issue here is that Distractions was an alternate point of view on canon; we have no canon for sixth year, so when the sixth book comes out, this will either be revamped or ditched entirely. It depends on how much the plot of Book 6 diverges from the events of the outside world as mentioned here. Until then, however, enjoy!  
And Mira _is_ working on Today is a Gift. She is very busy with school at the moment, but she and I promise to try and get it done ASAP!

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Chapter One - Plus ça change

*

Anne had almost forgotten her younger sister's intention to find the music rooms. It was a sunny Saturday afternoon, the first of the new school year, and she was sitting in a stuffy, windowless room. Part of her thought wistfully about the lakeshore, but most of her was wondering where Theodore Nott had got to. She'd been looking forward to seeing him again — far more than she would admit — and to discover that he wasn't hereit was disappointing. To put it mildly. 

__

He's probably just late. That's all. We've both been late hundreds of times — lots of times anyway — when we've met in here, and it doesn't mean anything. I am not nervous about seeing him again. I'm not. 

With a brisk motion she snapped open the clasps of her flute case. That was what she was here for, after all. Really. Playing music. She could warm up with some scales, and stop worrying about Theo not being here. She pushed the flute together with unnecessary force. What was there _to_ worry about? Two and a half months wasn't that long, and they'd exchanged enough letters. Nothing would have changed. Taking a deep breath, she began to play. 

She'd run through half a dozen scales before she felt a hand tap her on the shoulder. 

"Anne?" 

Startled, she spun around, nearly knocking over a nearby music stand. Theo was standing not two feet away, looking just the same as ever. His dark hair was still an inch or two longer than it seemed it should be, he was still nearly a foot taller than her, and his grin was still oddly shy, like he never used it much. Anne reached forward to hug him in greeting before she knew what she was doing.

" Theo, it's great to see you again!" 

She realised the unaccustomed familiarity, but Theo was giving her an enthusiastic hug back. 

"Good to see you too, little Hufflepuff," he said warmly. She gave him a warning look for the nickname but he just grinned. "As long as you call me Theo"

Anne shrugged, clutching her flute to herself and feeling suddenly shy. "Fair turnaround, huh?" 

"Hufflepuffs understand the meaning of fair, don't they?"

" Do Slytherins?"

" We try." Theo pushed his hair back, and Anne realised just how used she was to seeing him do that.

"I'd ask how your first week was, but I have a fairly good idea." 

Anne groaned. "Every single teacher has to start their class with a lecture on how hard this year is going to be! Are they _trying_ to scare us?" 

Theo seated himself on the room's only table. Anne couldn't remember him ever using a chair. 

"Oh, they're trying, but the reality is worse, believe me." 

She leaned back against the piano. "Hey, you're still alive." 

Theo indicated with his finger and thumb how narrow the margin was. "It was this close for most of us. Except for people like Anthony Goldstein and Hermione Granger." 

Anne held up a hand in mock terror. "Don't, I'm scared already!" 

Theo chuckled. "I am glad to talk to you again."

" I missed it, over the summer." Anne gestured around the room. "This. Us. Talking." 

"Letters aren't the same, are they?" Theo said. "Harder to understandbut more dangerous, too." 

"Far more," Anne said wryly, and realised half the reason she was so nervous. "You can say anything you want to, and then when you meet again, you remember what you said" 

"You do indeed," Theo replied, and there was a silence. Both of them looked away. 

"I'll burn your letters if you burn mine," Anne joked, trying to break the silence. 

"I couldn't possibly get rid of blackmail material, now could I?" he shot back. 

"What did I say that was blackmailable?" Anne asked with raised eyebrows. 

Theo shrugged. "Nothing in particular, you were just fraternising with the enemy." 

"Now that's a double-edged sword." 

"True." He looked down, and Anne remembered what was going on in the outside world. 

"Are you glad to be back at school?" she asked quietly. 

"Aren't I just." Theo looked up at her again, and the old hurt was there. "Home was too empty. I know Dad's alright, but he wasn't _there_. And knowing what he was doing — is doing --" he broke off. "I hate this war. I thought I could ignore it, but you can't." 

"You can't, no." Anne thought of the Dark Mark floating just a few doors down from her own home, and empty rooms. She had a sudden wish to hug Theo again, for comfort, but that _was_ going too far. _And why is it going too far, if Theo's just another friend? _

When was he ever that? 

"I saw your sister got Sorted into Gryffindor," Theo said. Anne was grateful for the change of topic. 

"Yes, she'll be better off there. I would have liked it better if she'd been in Hufflepuff with me, but -"

"You can't always have that," Theo filled in. "Look at the Patil twins, in my year — identical, but they're in different Houses. Most families are; there are only a few who all end up in the same House." 

"True. My friend Mai's sister was Sorted into Ravenclaw, and her older brother was in Gryffindor. Terry's too impetuous to make a good Hufflepuff, anyway." 

"Does she play any instruments?" 

"The cello, but she couldn't bring it here. She was really hacked off." 

Theo laughed. "I know the feeling. I spent my first three weeks searching Hogwarts for a piano. I'd complained every day about practising at home, but as soon as I couldn't"

"I know what you mean." Their eyes met in a wry smile. Anne looked away first, at her music folder, on the table. Music. That was a good idea. She coughed. 

"Um, so, I photocopied some music from the local library during the holidays -"

The door banged open, and Theo's head jerked around. Terry stood in the doorway, wincing. 

"Oops," Terry said with a mildly guilty expression "didn't think it'd crash like that." 

Theo looked nothing short of panicked. Anne felt a sudden rush of apprehension. Gryffindor and Slytherin. A scared Slytherin. Plenty of ways this could play out, and none of them good. 

*

Theo froze, staring at the young girl in the doorway. There would be absolutely no getting out of this, with he and Anne clearly involved in a perfectly amicable conversation. He didn't recognise the girl as a Slytherin, but just about anyone else would spread the gossip — and the repercussionshis loyalty to his House would be more than called into question. And his family. Questions would be asked that he could not answer — not and maintain any semblance of -

"Hey, Anne, there you are, took me ages to find you," the girl addressed his friend cheerfully. She wasn't even surprised! "Your friend — oh, what's her name, Mai — said you'd be in one of these rooms, I spotted her in the Great Hall at lunch. It's nearly impossible to find. I got lost three times." She was tiny, even for a first-year, with straw-coloured hair the exact shade of Anne's in a cut just above her ears. Theo recognised her from somewhere, but he wasn't quite sure-

Anne had straightened in surprise when the door had crashed open. "What the — oh, Terry, I, uh, wasn't expecting you to turn up. Shut the door, will you?" Theo could see her eyeing the girl — Terry — uncertainly. 

"Oh, sure," replied the girl, suiting action to command. Her gaze switched to a wary Theo. "Oh, hi. I'm Terry, Theresa, I'm Anne's sister. Who're you?" 

Theo shifted on the stool. His first instinct was to say something, _anything,_ to get her to leave, but with Anne there it might not be such a good idea. He said it anyway. 

"What are you doing here?" 

Terry was surprisingly unaffected by either tone or words. "Looking for Anne. It's usually polite to tell people who you are, you know." 

The best thing now would be to tell her that he didn't have to say anything to a Muggleborn, let alone politely. He had a terrible feeling it would slide off. 

"Why should I tell you, Gryffindor?" She was one, after all. A _Muggleborn_ Gryffindor who had burst in here and was now probably going to spread it all over the school unless she could be intimidated, Anne's sister or not.

" Well _someone_ got out of the wrong side of bed this morning," declared Terry. "Will you tell me who he is, Anne? I don't think much of your friends." 

Anne's eyes were shifting from her sister to her friend and back again. She lookedtrapped. Theo felt a small pang of guilt, but squashed it immediately. He had nothing to feel bad about. 

"This is Theodore Nott, Terry," said Anne weakly. "He — we play music together sometimes. Theo, this is my younger sister, Theresa. You mentioned you saw her being Sorted?" 

The last seemed a slightly desperate attempt at reconciliation. 

"Yes," he said stiffly. 

Terry sniffed. "You're a Slytherin, aren't you?"

" Of course I am."

" I've heard about your House," she replied darkly, glaring. "What is your problem, anyway?"

" You." 

"If I might interrupt?" Anne interposed from the sidelines. 

"No," said Theo and Terry at the same time. 

"Finally, agreement." Anne's voice was more than tinged with sarcasm. "Theo, you're being an idiot. Terry, you're being provocative. Do you mind?"

" I'm a _what?_" demanded Theo. Anne had never insulted him before! "Your sister just barges in here and-"

"-and you display all Malfoy's finest social skills. Can my sister talk to me or not?" 

Theo glared at Anne, quite furious. She had _no right_ to talk to him like that. What on earth had got into her? Just because someone else was in here- did she have to choose now to be argumentative - 

"I'm being provocative? He's being rude." Theresa Fairleigh seemed just as furious with her sister. "I _was_ coming to ask you if you knew who to ask to use the practice rooms. But I don't know if I'm going to bother now. It took about half an hour to get here, too." 

"Half an hour? What did you do, fall in the swamp?" Theo knew that was unfair. All first-years took a while to learn the ins and outs of Hogwarts. It would have taken him longer to get here, after his first week. He said it regardless. 

"Swamp? You mean the swamp on the third floor? I saw that. Why's it there?" asked Terry, momentarily diverted. 

"It's a memorial to two extremely foolish Gryffindors," said Theo darkly. "They never found the bodies." Because there hadn't been any, of course, but a little intimidation couldn't hurt.  
It misfired. 

"Really?" Terry looked fascinated. "Wicked. This school is really neat." 

Theo eyed her with some confusion. 

"Terry, look," Anne took a deep breath. "Just ask Professor McGonagall about the rooms, she's your Head of House. And I do promise I'll talk to you, but Theo and I were in the middle of practising this, so if you don't mind -"

"Fine, I know when I'm not wanted," huffed Terry. "But if I go now I want to have a listen to what you're playing another time."

" Next week," promised Anne quickly, clearly eager to get rid of her sister. "Same time. Oh, and Terry — I'd rather you didn't go spreading this around. Hufflepuffs and Slytherins-"

"Slytherins don't talk to Hufflepuffs. Or Gryffindors. Let alone Muggleborns, so as far as the rest of the school is concerned, I have never met either one of you two ladies. It would be-" Theo didn't want to be polite to the little brat, but his choices were limited. He needed a favour. "-appreciated if you didn't mention it. I do have to spend the next two years with the rest of my House." 

"Hmph. All right. Not that I'd want to mention meeting someone like you." Terry scowled at him. "I'll be going then. You two can continue doing - whatever it is you were doing before I arrived." 

She slammed the door on her way out. 

"Your sister is far too young to be using innuendo," said Theo after a short silence. 

Anne didn't say anything. He turned to look at her. She was staring fixedly at the music on her stand, fingering notes to herself. She didn't move. 

"Anne?" 

"What?"

" Are you — is — um — is something wrong?" Theo knew it was the wrong thing to say, but it was all he could think of. 

"Did you have to be so — so damn _Slytherin?_" Anne burst out suddenly, still not looking at him."Terry's not — she hadn't done anything! I hate it when people fight like that! I hate fighting!" 

Theo debated moving, and decided to stay there. Anne was still holding her flute, and it was probably lethal when used as a club. 

"I'm sorry."

" You're just saying that so I'll stop being upset at you."

" Yes, I am." 

They remained in silence for several seconds. Theo's eyes wandered around the room for something to look at before fixing on the back of Anne's head. It was easy to stare at her hair. It caught the light easily, like her sister's; pale yellow-brown burnished to gold. Acting on impulse he stood up and moved a step or so towards her. It was always easier to talk face-to-face. 

So he was caught unawares when she whipped around to look at him — or more accurately, up at him. Theo had put on another inch over the summer, and he now had close to a foot on Anne, who was never going to be anything more than average height if she really tried. 

"You were staring at me," she said defensively.

" Probably," he replied blandly. 

"Theo-" Anne bit her lip. So she was unsettled. 

__

No, really? 

"_Why_ did you go and pick a fight with Terry? You don't with me. I know you could have been perfectly polite to her, if you'd wanted to."

Theo blinked. It wasn't quite the question he'd been expecting. 

"I-"

"Because I think you were scared," she ploughed on. "You didn't expect her and you were scared she'd tell everyone about us — I mean — oh, you know what I mean. So you went all Slytherin pureblood on her. And that probably wasn't a good idea, because Terry gets snappy. She wouldn't have said anything, you know, even if you hadn't asked, but now she doesn't like you, and Terry takes a long time to change her mind about people she doesn't like. Sort of like you. So. Um. Anyway, that's what I thought." She trailed off under Theo's perplexed stare. "I might be wrong." 

She wasn't, and they both knew it. It was one of the things he hated about Anne sometimes, her uncanny ability to understand why people — why _he_ did things. He suspected it came from years of watching everyone around her, and years of being confided in. Anne invited confidences. He just wished, at times, she could be a little less perceptive. It would make life so much easier. 

He ignored the little voice that said if Anne wasn't so good at understanding motivations she would never have spoken to him again after the first time he'd talked to her. 

"You know you're not," he gave her as a peace offering. "I'm sorry. I mean, I'm not really sorry, but I'm sorry I upset you. And I'll try-" He stopped, and had to begin again. "I promise I'll be polite to your sister. Next week." He didn't want to be, but he knew the atmosphere would be positively poisonous otherwise, and he resented anything that ruined his time with Anne. He needed it to be safe and calm, and arguing with Theresa would not make it so. 

"Thanks-" Anne offered a half-smile back. 

__

Don't say you understand. Don't. Because I don't want to fight with you, as well.

" -so, shall we continue what we were doing before Theresa arrived?" She plucked a sheaf of music from her folder and handed it to him. 

" Certainly."

Was that — what on earth has got into her? 

She raised an eyebrow. "The piano's behind you, you know." 

Theo realised he hadn't moved. "Oh. Right. Well. We should get started, then." 

He sat down quickly and began to spread the music out. He could have sworn he heard Anne giggle, except that Anne did not giggle. She had far too much sense. 

For once, he was very glad to get back to the restricted topic of music. Music was easy. It didn't involveother considerations. 

__

Half a year later and I'm still trying to use music as a distraction. I never learn. 

Oh well. 


	2. Deciding

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Chapter Two: Deciding

A/N: I have mostly finished Discoveries, but unfortunately I'm going to be away from home for the next two weeks, so don't expect an update until early May. That said, it is complete except for one or two scenes in the last chapter which I haven't fully sketched out yet. Some of you may notice that two scenes in theis chapter are re-workings of scenes in my stories Unity  and See You There. There are some differences; this is because the Theodore Nott of Unity is, in many small ways, different from the Theo of Discoveries. As I've written, he's evolved. I may go back and standardise the other stories, if I have time. 

Theo frowned at the blackboard. Ancient Runes was never an easy class, and some of the runes they were studying this year were very complex. He didn't want to copy them down wrong. Professor Wykeham would have no mercy for that sort of error. 

In front of him, silhouetted by the morning sun, Hermione Granger and Anthony Goldstein were talking quietly. It was the one irritating thing about the NEWT class; a lot of the people taking the subject were very good at it, and finished in half the time it took everyone else. Theo had never been slow at schoolwork, but he was nowhere near people like Granger and Goldstein. 

"Five more minutes, everyone, and then I want to write up more notes on this side," Professor Wykeham announced. 

Theo drew in the last line, and stared blankly at the book. The content of Granger and Goldstein's conversation drifted into his ears. 

"so Harry's having a meeting in the Room of Requirement at seven on Friday," Granger was saying in a very low voice. "It isn't illegal this year, but we can't handle half the school turning up out of curiosity, either. Can you tell Michael?" 

"Hasn't Ginny We- oh, yeah, they broke up. Right, I'll let him know. I've missed the DA meetings," Goldstein replied. "What will we be doing this year? More Patronuses?" 

"I think so, but I know Harry wants to focus on self-defence. With all the attacks over the summer" 

"Yeah, it's been pretty depressing." 

Professor Wykeham got up to write the next set of notes on the board, and their conversation stopped.   
Theo looked up at the board like any student waiting to copy the notes, thinking furiously about what he'd heard. Harry Potter was re-starting his illegal — apparently no longer so — group. Defence practice group, from the rumours. That _was_ interesting. 

__

Anne should go to something like that. She's Muggle-born; she'll be attacked sooner or later. He felt ice trickling down his spine. _She has to be able to defend herself, she has to. I wish I could go. Potter may not be a teacher, but if they were even trying Patronuses — that _is_ advanced magic. It would be useful. It would let him know I'm not just one of Malfoy's lackeys, that I'm not going to be a Death Eater. If Anne went, I'd see her twice a week. _

Then why not? 

Yeah, why not let a bunch of Gryffindors _know what you really think so they can spread it around the school and ruin your life, huh? Why not destroy every bloody shred of secrecy you have for a few jinxes and hexes? They'll let sweet Muggleborn Anne in but you're a Slytherin, you're Eric Nott's son. The girl who sent your father to Azkaban is sitting right in front of you. You're the enemy where they're concerned. _

With a start, he realised he hadn't copied down anything. He set to it hurriedly. 

__

You're insane, Theodore Nott, insane. 

That night, lying in bed, listening to Goyle snoring, he thought about it again. The DA. Dumbledore's Army, Parkinson had told them it stood for, sneering as she said it. They could keep secrets, he knew that. After all, the only reason the group had been discovered last year was Marietta Edgecombe carrying tales to Umbridge, and _she_ had paid the price. Barely anyone spoke to her this year. Even loudmouth Smith had kept quiet about it, and he was the sort who'd boast about putting his shoes on the right feet. If he joinedmaybe, just maybe, it could be kept quiet. Maybe he would be safe. 

__

But then they'd know. They'd know about you, they'd know about Anne, and is that safe? Being invisible has been your protection, can you just throw that away? What do you get out of it, Nott? 

He rolled over restlessly. 

__

I get training, I get to catch up from Umbridge's uselessness last year. Potter's survived the Dark Lord — he and his friends fought ten Death Eaters and lived, he must have taught them a few tricks. And on the train home last year, it wasn't Potter dealing to Malfoy. It was Macmillan and Bones and their_ friends. Potter taught them, too. _

I get the chance to take sides without throwing it in everyone's faces. If the battle comes here, comes to us, I can't fight for the Dark Lord. I want to be neutral but can I be? If it came to letting Anne get hurt, I couldn't. And she would be hurt. Her neighbours were killed this year. But I have to keep it secret for as long as possible, until I'm old enough to leave home, untilnext September. Less than a year. I don't want to run, not yet, but I know what happens to people who turn down the Dark Lord. My parents wouldn't hurt me but they couldn't go against him, either. I will have to go, sometime. 

That shook him. He'd always thought, somehow, that he could keep his life balanced. Not join the Death Eaters, not support the Dark Lord, but not be against him either. 

"Stop tossing and turning, Theodore, some of us are trying to sleep!" came Malfoy's petulant order out of the darkness. 

"Sorry," Theo called, and he tried to order his thoughts. 

__

I can't. I have to choose sides. And that settles it, doesn't it? Because Dumbledore and his ilk, they won't kill my parents. They don't do that. But my father would kill Anne and her sister — her family - without a thought. Her neighbours, she told me. He was there, I know that. One of them was eight. Eight. _He was a halfblood, but he was a young child and it could have been my father who — my father_ - 

Theo felt suddenly sick. He'd avoided the thoughts, but he'd stopped running the day he'd met Anne, and now they had caught up. 

__

My god, how can he do that? How can he be the man I know, who loves me and Mum, and then go out and - 

That's why I have to choose Potter's side. Because they don't kill, don't make people kill, not unless they have no choice. Because if I became a Death Eater I would have _no choice, but with Potter there's a small one. Not much, but it's there. _

I have to let him know what I've chosen before it's too late, or he'll never believe it. 

And if Anne joins too — she will, I'll ask, they should let two people in — she'll be safe and I can see her more. There are no downsides to that. 

Well, being in a room with thirty other people. 

That should not be a downside, because Anne is your friend_ and she does not need you deciding to complicate things. Unless she doesn't mind, of course. _

Theo squeezed his eyes more tightly shut. He'd resolved enough pressing dilemmas for one night without facing _that_ one. 

***

Anne found her sister in the library that Thursday evening. It was difficult, being in different Houses. She saw enough of the people from other Houses in her own year, having classes with most of them at some point, but with Terry in first year it was next to impossible. They tried to make regular meeting times to catch up. Anne didn't mind helping Terry with her homework, and Terry always wanted to talk about all the new things she was discovering, things that she'd longed for since Anne had first gone to Hogwarts. 

"Hey Terry," she said, sitting down at the table in the corner. The library was fairly empty, for a weekday evening. Her sister was alone, apparently waiting for her. 

"Hi Anne," Terry said cheerfully. "How are you?" 

"Don't ask." Anne sighed. "I think they're trying to kill some of us off before exams." 

Terry made a face. "Bet that's not much fun." 

Anne laughed. "I'm getting used to it. How about you?" She gestured at the essay Terry was working on, surrounded by heavy tomes. "Learning lots?" 

Her younger sister's eyes lit up. "It's great. I can't believe how much magic there is! And it's so much _fun._ Way better than boring old maths and reading." 

"I thought so, too. I still do." Anne began to spread her things out onto the scuffed wooden table. She had to get her Astronomy homework done for tonight's lesson. "What's that essay for?" 

"Potions." To Anne's immense surprise, Terry grinned widely. "It's the best. It's like doing chemistry but we're making things that can _do_ stuff. Snape's a bit grumpy," she wrinkled her nose, "but he's not that bad if you do things right. He just doesn't like it when people don't listen. That's cause he knows what he's talking about and he wants us to know it." 

Anne gaped. "You _like_ Potions?" 

Terry nodded. "You just have to ignore it when Snape says nasty things. He's funny sometimes but people don't like it because he's being mean. He's really awful to Mark, because Mark's Harry Potter's cousin and he hates Harry Potter. He was really nasty today to Hero and Jacob because they did really badly, and he doesn't like Gryffindors much, but," she paused for emphasis, "he said that the potion Alex and I were doing was an 'acceptable standard'." 

Anne raised her eyebrows. For Snape, that was almost gushing. "Did you take a vow of silence in his lessons?" 

"I _can_ be quiet," her sister said acerbically "when I have to." 

Anne just shook her head as she began to mark out the star chart for tonight. "I don't know, Terry, you just land on your feet sometimes." 

"Not always. Professor Binns hates me." Terry scowled. "He said I was loud and annoying. And Professor Sprout thinks I'm hopeless because I dropped a watering pot on some of the seedlings we were transplanting and killed them." She shrugged. "But everything else is fun." 

Anne smiled down at Canopus as she carefully sketched it into the constellation of Carina. With everything upside down, it was wonderful having Terry here, so obviously enjoying herself. She hoped it lasted.

"Theodore Nott reminds me a little bit of Professor Snape," Terry remarked out of nowhere. 

Anne's hand clenched on her pen. "Say that a little louder, Terry." 

"I said — oh, right, sorry." Terry lowered her voice. "Well, he does! Except Professor Snape doesn't really like people and Theodore likes you. And I don't think he hates me that much but he wanted me to go away. But they're both nasty to people who haven't really done anything wrong." 

"Theo's perfectly nice!" exclaimed Anne, stung. "He just doesn't like strangers, and you were a stranger. You were dangerous." 

Terry was taken aback. "_Dangerous? _That's just silly."

" You could tell people he's my friend. That's dangerous for him." 

"But _why_?" Terry was clearly all at sea. 

Anne bit her lip, and looked around. No-one was within five metres or so, and even if they had been they couldn't have heard them. 

"His dad's a Death Eater. He was in Azkaban but he escaped. Theo doesn't like the Death Eaters but his parents will be very angry with him if they find that out, so it's a secret he's my friend. You can't tell _anyone_, ever, do you understand?" 

Terry's eyes were wide. "Oh. Okay. Is that why he's so grumpy? Because of his dad?" 

"Sort of, yeah." 

"Is he your boyfriend?" 

Anne could feel the blood rushing to her face. "No. No, of course not, he's ju - he's my friend." _Not _just_ a friend. There's nothing wrong with friendship. Just because Theo's a boy - but I like him more than anyone else here, and I _trust_ him more than anyone - and sometimes I think - _

"Oh." Terry looked disappointed. Doubtless she'd been looking for opportunities to tease. "He's too grumpy anyway. If you have a boyfriend he should be nicer to people." _Nicer to me_, was the undertone. 

"He was the same to me, the first time I met him," Anne replied. "Imagineimagine if you believed that some people werejust terrible people, and your parents did, and then you started to think it was wrong. And you couldn't tell any of your friends or your family, because they'd be angry. And then you stopped and talked to one of the people you were supposed to despise. Who you had despised. And you decided it was true, they weren't so bad after all, but you didn't want to think that, because then you'd have to disagree with almost everyone you knew. Most people at school like Theo haven't even done what he's done, start thinking they might be wrong. It's not easy." 

"I suppose" Terry chewed the end of her quill. "But he's still up himself." 

Anne leaned forward and whispered gravely "Just a bit." 

They both laughed, and Anne felt tension she hadn't known was there flow out of her. 

Five minutes before Terry's curfew, she got up to go back to her common room. Before she left, she turned to her older sister. 

"Anne"

"Yes?" Anne looked up from her History of Magic essay. 

Terry flicked a glance over her shoulder before continuing. "You said Theodore Nott's dad was a Death Eater"

"Yes?" Terry was clearly nervous; she was rocking from foot to foot and she wouldn't meet Anne's gaze. 

"Did he kill Elise and Hector and their mum and dad?" 

Anne closed her eyes, hit by a sick wave of grief. Priam and Roberta Martin and their children, Elise and Hector. Killed by Death Eaters because Roberta Martin was a Muggle. Little Andy, not yet three, asking for her mother. Elise had been only a year older than Terry; they had been friends. Terry had looked forward to knowing someone else at Hogwarts. 

"I don't know," she whispered. "I know he wasI know he was there." 

She opened her eyes to see Terry clutching her books to her chest, eyes wide with horror. "Did Theo tell you?"

Anne nodded. "He owled me. He was scaredhe was scared it was me. Us." 

Terry's face began to darken. "How can you be friends with someone whose dad-" Her voice was rising dangerously. 

"Because _Theo is not his father_," Anne hissed, angry with her sister for something she couldn't be expected to understand. "Don't you dare lay that on him, Terry!" 

Terry gulped back angry tears, but she didn't yell. 

"Okay," she said stiffly "but he has to explain to me or I'm _never_ going to be polite to him." She turned and stalked off. 

Anne leant her face into her hands and sighed, wondering if she would have any peace this year. 

***

Theo wandered idly into the library on Thursday evening. Terry Fairleigh passed him on her way out, but to her credit she barely glanced at him. Someone observant might have noticed she stared a little _too_ straight ahead. 

He spotted Harry Potter almost immediately, sitting at a table not too far from the door with the Weasley girl who'd replaced him as Seeker last year and loony Luna Lovegood. Strolling over to a shelf not too far from where they sat, Theo pulled down the first book he touched and began to leaf through it as if searching for something. His palms were sweaty with nervousness. It wasn't too long before Potter got up and started to walk straight past the shelf Theo was half-hidden behind. Suppressing a rush of panic — what if Potter made a fuss — Theo called out to him in a low, carrying voice. The library should be empty enough. He hoped. 

"Hey, Potter." The dark-haired Gryffindor turned, staring at him in surprise. "Potter, can I have a word?"

Potter narrowed his eyes and took a couple of aggressive steps towards Theo. He groaned inwardly. Potter was going to be all stupid and prejudiced and Gryffindor. He couldn't let this be stuffed up, he couldn't. 

"Look, Nott," Potter began, "Let's not waste anyone's time. Your dad's on Voldemort's side, and we both know I know that. And frankly, if you're looking to get revenge on me over what happened last year with the interview, or at the Ministry, it's a little late. So just don't bother."

Theo scowled back, and snapped out "Shut your mouth, Potter, this isn't about -" With effort he took hold of himself. He needed Potter's help, or at least his toleration. He didn't need his enmity. They were on the same side. Sort of. 

"Potter, I'm not interested in what you said about my father last year. We both know that it's — that it's true. Or aboutwhat happened at the Ministry. He was probably trying to kill one of you, I'm not stupid, he would, and fighting back isn't a crime. That's not what I want to talk to you about, okay? But I'm also not stupid enough to be caught talking to you in the middle of the library, so would you mind coming over here?"

He couldn't help glancing over Potter's shoulder for any passers-by. He _couldn't_ be seen, either. It would be worse than someone knowing about Anne. Much worse. 

"All right, then," said Potter suspiciously, walking towards Theo. His free hand was hovering over a pocket, and Theo was willing to bet he was ready to use his wand. "What is it?"

Theo took a deep breath. Potter had to believe him. He had to. "Last yearlast year, you and your friends were running a secret Defence Against the Dark Arts club, weren't you? Malfoy helped break it up. He was pretty cocky about thatnot so much about what the Weasleys, Longbottom and Lovegood did at the end of term, though." He managed a wry smile. Malfoy had been fuming. It had been quietly hilarious. 

"Yeah, what's it to you?" Potter retorted. He wasn't bristling quite so much, though. 

"Well" Theo began. The words were drying up in his mouth "I heardI heard Granger and Goldstein talking in Ancient Runes, and it sounded like you're starting it again, this year. With permission, and everything." _Stop beating around the bush!_

" And?" Potter sounded impatient. 

"Can I join?" The words came out in a rush. Theo hated the lack of composure, but couldn't help it. He was, when it came down to it, terrified. The image he'd spent years perfecting was being torn down for someone he neither knew well nor liked. Anne was different. Anne he trusted. Even Terry, up to a point. But Potter

"What?" Potter's jaw dropped. "In case you hadn't noticed, we're trying to _fight_ Voldemort, not help people learn so they can from a Death Eaters' Youth Association!"

Theo was scared and uncertain, and that was the final straw. This Gryffindor idiot wasn't even _considering_ that he might not be evil. 

"Potter, have you been listening?! In case you haven't noticed, I am not Malfoy! I don't want to be a Death Eater, I don't want to go around killing Muggleborns, and _I am not my father_! I want to find a way to join the people who don't want the Dark Lord to be in charge, and your group seemed like the best way to do it! But since you obviously think that all Slytherins are evil and irredeemable, I guess I'm wasting my time -" He made to push Potter aside. Maybe that would make him listen. 

"Wait!" Potter moved to block him. "You _don't_ want to support Voldemort?"

Theo rolled his eyes. How Potter managed to be this dense and survive each succeeding year was beyond him. "Are you deaf, Potter?"

Potter was practically snarling, and Theo felt irrationally pleased. Provoking someone else was a measure of the control he had just thrown away. 

"Why don't you go to the Headmaster? Or Professor Snape? Why me?"

Theo gaped inwardly. Snape? Snape the Death Eater? And how would he even _begin_ to talk to Dumbledore? "Not everyone can just pop into the Headmaster's office like you can, Potter, and as for Snape — he _is_ a Death Eater, or so I've heard, and believe me, my sources are pretty good. None of the Muggleborns would listen to me, Weasley would be almost as bad as you are, and they and you are the only people in the school I can be totally sure _aren't _working for the Dark Lord." 

It was true. He had to stake out his loyalties somehow, and Potter was the only certain way. But the other boy's anger and suspicion didn't seem to be fading, and Theo felt the beginnings of defeat. 

"Look, Potter, I know we're never going to like each other, but give me a chance. I don't want to be like my father. I don't want to have to kill and murder and torture, I know what it's like for him, it's as dangerous to be on the Dark Lord's side as to be his enemy! I don't _like_ Muggleborns, or your sort, butnot enough to kill. Understand? There aren't anyimpartial sides, in this war. Because if there was one I'd be on it. But, you know, it's the Dark Lord oryou, and I sincerely doubt you're about to start murdering people out of hand. Or torturing them for failure. So the choice is fairly clear." 

__

Hah. Even now I can't throw away my pretences. I don't dislike all Muggleborns that much, not any more, but can I say it? 

Am I really still that tied to my parents' beliefs? 

"Not to people like Malfoy." Potter seemed to relax a fraction. 

Theo snorted. "He's a power-hungry idiot who doesn't understand what war means."

Potter blinked. "And here's me thinking none of Slytherin had noticed." 

"Oh, we _noticed_ a long time ago," said Theo dryly. _It's hard to miss. _"There's just not much we can do about it. Any more than anyone in your House would dare to speak up against you, now." 

That threw the Gryffindor off-balance. "Hey! I'm not like Malfoy -"

__

Doesn't he know how much power he has?

" No. But you've got just as much influence as him, more, because you were proved right last year and now anyone who says you're wrong risks getting tarred with that brush. There's only two sides in this school now, yours and the Dark Lord's." 

"Don't you mean Malfoy's?"

Theo had never begun to think of it that way. He knew Malfoy too well to respect him. "Why give him that much credit? It's his father's influence he uses, and that comes ultimately from the Dark Lord." 

"True enough," Potter replied. His hand had drifted to his side, now, but there was still a certain wariness. "How will you not let your family know you'vechosen sides? Because I don't reckon they'd be too keen on the idea." 

Theo shrugged. That wasn't hard. "I won't tell. No-one's tracking me. I'm one of the faithful, I'm not going to be a traitor, am I?" He smiled sardonically. "I'm just like all of them. I follow Malfoy. Besides, only two more years, and then I'm done with Hogwarts, and I'm of age, and I can go. If we all last that long." He knew he was being cynical, and he was past caring. 

Potter tensed again. "How do I know this isn't a trick, to spy on us?"

Theo looked him straight in the eye. This was it, really. "You don't. You only have my word for it. If that isn't good enough, then I'm going." _I can't afford to go, not now. But can I stay if I'm not trusted? _

What choice do I have now? 

Potter stared at him for a long moment. Then, to Theo's everlasting surprise, he held out his hand. Theo hesitated — _what's your problem, you made this commitment when you asked to talk to him — _and grasped it firmly. 

"We're meeting at seven tomorrow," Potter said. "Go to the tapestry of the trolls doing ballet on the seventh floor, and I'll meet you there. Is there -" he hesitated "- anyone else in your House who might be interested in coming?"

Theo frowned. The question hadn't occurred to him. "I don't know. I can't exactly stand up in the middle of the Common Room and say, "Would anyone here like to join me in betraying everything half the House believes in and fighting You-Know-Who?" I'd be hexed half-way to London before I got two words out." _About right. _

"Think about it, then. The Sorting Hat was rightwe need all the Houses, not just three of them." 

Theo nodded, thoughtfully. _Not so dense after all, Potter._ "I will. Oh, actually, could I bring a Hufflepuff along? I think she'll want to come. She should, for her own safety" 

__

There, that should be casual enough. Now please don't ask questions I don't want to answer. 

"Which Hufflepuff?" Potter asked. 

__

Damn. 

Theo felt himself flushing. "Anne Fairleigh. Fifth-year. Your friends Loo — Lovegood and the Weasley girl might know her." _And now he's going to draw all sorts of stupid conclusions that aren't true except I wouldn't mind if they were that much —_

Oh, God, I have problems here. 

"How do you-" Potter stopped himself. Thankfully. "I'll see you tomorrow, Nott." 

"Tomorrow, Potter." Theo nodded at the Gryffindor. It was done. 

__

Please let it not be a mistake. 


	3. Acting

****

Chapter Three: Acting 

A/N: This is a little earlier than I'd expected to get it up, but I'm sure nobody minds that. The rest of the story is basically finished, so look for it over the next few weeks. 

I think I forgot to put a disclaimer in the beginning of this story, so here it goes: don't own anything, don't really want too, far too much work trying to write books. It's all JKR's (except for Anne, Terry, and co., who are theoretically mine. They have other opinions.) 

Anne wasn't quite sure what had got into Theo on Saturday. The episode with Terry had appeared to send him back into what she thought of as his Slytherin mode, but it hadn't quite fitted. There had been – slippages of the mask. Like right at the end, when they were both leaving and her hair had fallen out from behind her ear. She'd been pushing it back all day, having lost the clip somewhere between Care of Magical Creatures and Charms last Friday. Theo had reached out and quite carefully tucked the stray strands back before she could. In response to her rather astonished stare, he'd merely informed her that it had been getting annoying, and she should get a clip. 

He'd left rather quickly, though. She hadn't known what to make of that. She knew very well what her friends would say if she brought it up. "Oooh, Anne, he likes you!" That, she doubted. Theo might regard her as an exception to the usual rule about Muggleborns (they weren't quite human) but he didn't look at her that way. Anne had had her fair share of crushes and the like, as well as watching her fellow Hufflepuffs. She was pretty well aware of how teenagers acted when they liked a member of the opposite sex. Theo couldn't act less like that if he tried. They were friends. And she had no problem with that. Their friendship was complicated enough as it was. 

Well, maybe she wouldn't mind that much. She did remember – with the embarrassment of hindsight – kissing him goodbye on the cheek on the last weekend of term. She remembered that he, against all expectation, had given her a quick peck on the cheek back. She hadn't _minded_, exactly. But she valued Theo's continued company far more than any nebulous feelings that went beyond friendship. So that was where this train of thought ended. Anne did always pride herself on being sensible. 

Not that there was much to do but think, in History of Magic. Professor Binns was lecturing in his most dreary tone of voice; Anne was taking notes, but having to force herself to listen. It was only the remembrance that if she didn't take notes now she'd have nothing to study come end of year that kept her awake and concentrating. It was quite late on Friday afternoon, and the sun was streaming in the windows, lighting up the dust motes like a sprinkling of stars hanging in the air, shining brightly before they winked out of the sunlight into the shadows. Others had given up the battle for consciousness. Anne could see Gabby and Ellie playing noughts and crosses on a scrap of parchment to her right. Michael Evrard of Slytherin was apparently jinxing his classmate's hair. Anne herself had more than a few treble and alto clefs decorating the borders of her parchment. The clock seemed to have been magically slowed; she kept stealing surreptitious glances at her watch to check it was still working. The notes she was taking on the giant wars sounded intriguing enough on paper – she had vague ideas about reading up on the subject – but delivered in Professor Binns' monotone, it lost all interest. 

The bell ringing for the end of the period – and dinner – provoked a semblance of movement among the class. On one hand, none of them could wait to get out; on the other, one and a half hours of immobility had dulled their reflexes somewhat. Most settled for a slow stretching and test to see if limbs were still there before rising and heading out. Anne caught up with the other Hufflepuff girls at the door, having had some problems with the catch on her bag. 

"Im dropping this as soon as I can," muttered Sarah as they walked towards dinner. 

"You say that every year," pointed out Mai with some asperity. 

"That's because it's been compulsory every year so far," said Ellie sensibly. 

"How do you know it isn't next year?"

" We live in hope," laughed Gabby. "Anne, what's the matter?"

" Shoelace," replied Anne, who had knelt with a muttered curse to re-tie it. "You guys go on ahead, I'll catch up in a second." 

"Okay." Gabby had to race to catch up with the others, already rounding a bend in the corridor. Anne fumbled with her shoelace for a few more seconds before standing to go and catch up. By the time she got to the end of the corridor, the rotating staircase had shifted; she was going to have to take the longer route to dinner. Giving a small sigh of exasperation, she set off along the other corridor. 

This one was not used too often; the pictures were few and far between. Everyone who went to Hogwarts had their own preferred routes and shortcuts. This happened to be one of Anne's. So she was quite surprised to see Theo emerge at the convergence of two corridors. She hadn't expected to see anyone. He had the slightly unfocused look on his face of someone who isn't really concentrating on where he is now because he knows the route he's taking so well. That was until his eyes lit upon her. She had forced herself to move her gaze away down the corridor; someone could be along at any moment, and she didn't know him here. She was just walking past him – on the other side of the corridor, naturally – when she felt him grab her arm and pull her quickly sideways across the corridor and into one of the empty classrooms on this level. He was quick to shut the door behind them. 

"Theo, what the -" 

"I needed to have a word to you before tomorrow. Oh – I didn't hurt you?" Anne was rubbing her arm. He could have just asked. 

"No, it's okay." It didn't really hurt. No point making a fuss. 

"Oh, good."

She stood there a moment, looking up at him. The sun was pouring into the windows of this room too, lighting up dust-cloth covered furniture and an empty fireplace. It hit Theo's dark hair at just the right angle to give him a halo she knew he didn't deserve. 

"What is it, then?" she asked. 

He looked pensive for a minute. "Do you remember what happened last year, with Potter and his group? How they got caught for something by Umbridge, and everyone thought it was some sought of Defence club?" 

"Ye-es," she said slowly. "What about it?"

" It was a Defence club. He's starting it again this year."

" I'm sorry, but how does this affect us?" 

Theo locked eyes with her, his gaze dark and intense with emotions she found hard to disentangle – fear, determination, worry. "I asked him if I could join. He wasn't too keen on having a Slytherin, but he said yes, eventually. He said you could come, too." 

"You did _what?_" Anne's jaw dropped. "I thought – you're just going to go and let a whole lot of people you don't even know realise that you - don't agree with your family? That you're friends with me? I thought you didn't want anyone to know!" 

"If I could make it that way, I would," he admitted with a sigh. "But there's a war on, Anne. I have to choose sides. If I don't, then the choice is going to be made for me, and it won't be what I want." 

"You think your family will make you become a Death Eater," she said quietly. "I see. But why now? Why this? And why ask if I could come?" 

She got a bit of a shock when Theo took her gently by the upper arms. 

"No reason why now, exactly. But I'll have to make the choice sometimes. This, because it's the only way I can think of to – sign up to not be a Death Eater without letting everyone know. These people have to be good at keeping secrets. I think if I ask, then no one will say I come. You can go; no one will question that. You have to."

" I have to? But why-"

"_Think_, little Hufflepuff. You're Muggleborn. You have to be able to defend yourself. I don't want to open the Daily Prophet next holidays and see you're the latest casualty. You have to stay alive. You're going to come and learn, you've got to!"

His voice hadn't risen all that much – a necessity of secrecy – but he was leaning slightly towards her. Anne felt her pulse starting to race slightly, for no apparent reason. Maybe it was the look in his eyes.

"I'll come, I'll come, OK? When is it?" He had a point, she knew. She could use the extra practise. But the intensity was making her nervous. 

"Tonight, at seven. Meet me at the top of the seventh-floor staircase, all right? Can you make some sort of excuse-"

"I can do that easily enough. Can you?"

" I'll be studying in the library." He shrugged as if to say that would be accepted without comment. 

"OK then." Anne felt that this marked the end of the conversation; Theo's lack of movement – more specifically letting her go – seemed to say otherwise. 

"Right." His breathing was slightly uneven. So was her own. Anne decided that _one_ of them had to show some sense. Right now. She coughed politely. 

"I'd better be getting to dinner then. My friends were waiting for me to catch up." 

"Yes, you'd better." Theo finally let her go. "I'll see you tonight." 

***

Theo arrived at the seventh floor just a few seconds short of seven o'clock. There had been a sticky patch when Malfoy had nearly decided to accompany him to the library, but that had been seen through when Montague had reminded Malfoy, sharply, that they had a Quidditch practice that evening. Theo had offered silent thanksgivings to whoever had organised that and set off for the unknown. 

Anne was waiting for him at the top of the stairs, a small figure with her arms folded protectively around her. Her hair, now shoulder-length, had been pulled back in a ponytail. It made her look younger, more vulnerable. Theo felt a renewed surge of decisiveness. She needed to be here, and if he had to as well, then so be it. 

"Hi," Anne said, coming forward into the full light of the corridor. "Are you ready?" Her voice was shy. Theo realised that this was the first time she had started a conversation with him in public, if a deserted corridor counted as that. 

"How bad can it be?" he asked rhetorically, and a smile flickered on her lips. 

"You're right. We can only draw attention by showing up at the same time and humiliate ourselves publicly by being bad at the spells. How bad can it possibly get?" 

That was almost enough to make Theo turn and flee, but he knew she was joking. Partly. He resisted the urge to take her hand as they walked towards the tapestry. Potter was waiting outside a bare stretch of stone wall. His face tightened almost reflexively as Theo and Anne approached, but all he did was nod curtly. 

"Nott. You made it." 

Theo just nodded. Sarcasm was not going to help _anyone_. 

"You must be Anne Fairleigh," Potter continued, eyeing her appraisingly. Theo suddenly realised exactly why Ron Weasley glowered at any male who talked to Hermione Granger for more than three seconds. It wasn't logic, it was a reflex, and reflexes wanted to take Anne's hand. Or put his arm around her shoulders. Or _something_. 

Anne, fortunately, hadn't noticed. All she said was "Yes, that's right." 

"Er - okay," Potter began, "you need to walk past this spot-" he tapped the wall "and concentrate really hard on finding the place where the DA meet. Three times. Then you can go in. We'll be starting in a tick, there are just a few people who haven't shown up yet." 

Theo looked down at Anne, who looked up at him at the same time. She gave a minute shrug. Feeling not a little stupid, he began the pacing. 

On the third time round there was, out of nowhere, a plain wooden door set in the wall. With a final glance at Potter – whose suspicion had not faded much – Theo reached for the door handle. Anne was right behind him. 

They entered a large room, larger than Theo had expected. One wall was lined with bookshelves, and tables at the far end displayed objects Theo recognised as Dark detectors. The floor was lined with large cushions. 

Scattered around the room were clumps of people, all clearly relaxed and happy to see each other again. Theo recognised the entire Gryffindor component of his year, most of the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, the whole Gryffindor Quidditch team, Cho Chang, and several others. No Slytherins, of course, but – wait. There in a corner, grey eyes daring anyone to approach her, was Estella Haywood. Haywood, halfblood, Slytherin, Draco Malfoy's cousin, until now one of the most uptight and acid-tongued followers Malfoy had. But Malfoy had never acknowledged that she followed his lead; no, not a halfblood. Theo had always wondered why she'd bothered. _He'd_ done it out of preservation, because it was expected. Estella Haywood could have cut her own course. Theo had envied the younger girl that luxury, and wondered why she'd never used it. It seemed now that she had. Her eyes darted over to land on him and Anne. She stared for a moment – as many others in the room were doing, apart from Potter and his friends. They'd known, of course. Haywood gave him the tiniest of nods, and he returned it. You stuck with your House, if you could. Speaking of that, some of the Hufflepuffs were descending on Anne. 

"Anne Fairleigh! You didn't say you were coming!" That was Susan Bones. "How did you find out about this?" 

"A friend of mine did," Anne replied from behind Theo. He realised he was standing with his arms folded in a distinctly defensive posture, and tried to relax. 

"Really? Who -" Ernie Macmillan's voice cut off abruptly, and Theo guessed he'd made the connection. He turned to face the Hufflepuffs. Anne wore an expression of outward serenity, and inward (to Theo) determination mixed with sheer panic. 

"Good evening, Macmillan," he said pleasantly. He was glad to get that much out. 

"Surprised you'd show your face here, _Slytherin_," Hannah Abbott shot back. She was Muggleborn, he knew. 

"So am I." Theo couldn't help a wry twitch of his mouth, and an answering one from Anne showed she'd caught it. 

"What's a Death Eater's son like you doing near anyone decent, anyway?" Theo stiffened. He _knew_ Zachariah Smith was an arrogant jerk to rival Malfoy. He _knew_ the Hufflepuff took delight in baiting anyone he could. He was _not_ going to provoke an argument. He couldn't just walk away, not now, not here. 

"If you're here because you think blood doesn't count, then how can you say that?" Anne was never a loud person, Theo knew, but she was as close as she ever got to outright aggression. 

__

Anne's standing up for me to her Housemates? That'sdecent of her. Very decent. 

"She's got a point, you know," said Susan Bones thoughtfully. "Although, Nott, you will have to tell us how you know one of our House at all." Her tone was edged with steel. Protective of their own, Hufflepuffs were. 

"Because neither of us looked where we were going," Theo responded promptly. It was true, after all. He got puzzled frowns from the Hufflepuffs, but a half-smile from Anne. 

"We ran into each other by accident, that's all," she added lightly. 

"And you didn't send the – Muggleborn packing?" Finch-Fletchly asked coolly. Another Muggleborn, another one with more reason than most to be antagonistic. 

"I decided to ask about life on the other side of the fence." 

"Other side of the fence? Most Slytherins won't admit it's the same country, let alone the same street," snorted Bones. 

"Here, now, it looks like the meeting's starting," Macmillan said pompously. "Come on, everyone." 

Theo exchanged glances with Anne, but they followed the other students to the cushions. It was only natural to sit down next to each other. More odd, though, was Macmillan's comment to Theo as he sat beside him. 

"Glad to have you on board. We need more of your people to come to their senses." 

Theo didn't reply, save for a nod to acknowledge he'd heard it. The wording wasthoughtless, but he could see the sentiment. Potter was standing in front of them, now, and Theo turned his attention to him. Time to see if the Boy Who Lived was all he was cracked up to be. 

***

Anne found Theo already there when she arrived at the practise room that Saturday. She had had a particularly difficult time shaking off Gabby and Ellie, who had been in the middle of a frantic writing session for the Defence essay due on Monday ("Combat after being disarmed") and had seconded Anne to help them. Mai had been feeling snappish and Sarah had been doing something Prefect-related, or they wouldn't have asked her. As it was she had pleaded a need to get out for some air. She always did feel a little guilty about lying to her friends, but then they wouldn't take it the right way if she did tell them where she really was. Besides, she told the truth most of the time. Just not all of it. 

Theo was in one of his strange moods. He gave her a grim smile when she entered, and suggested they start playing without even the usual modicum of conversation. Anne wondered if he was having second thoughts about Dumbledore's Army. 

"Is something wrong?" she inquired as casually as possible, in the course of setting up a music stand. 

"Something makes you think that?" he replied enigmatically, shuffling music and not bothering to look at her. "I have no idea what you're talking about." 

"No, you wouldn't, would you," she muttered, half to herself. It was clear there'd be no getting anything out of him today. 

"Is something wrong with you?" He turned his head to give her a sharp look. "You seem a bit unsettled.

" You're beingunsettling," she tossed back. She was rewarded with a very small frown and a shrug.

"Not deliberately. Shall we start, then?" 

Anne lifted her flute to her mouth with an almost unconscious shake of her head. Just when she thought she had Theo sortedbut then, at least she knew him well enough to know that these sort of moods would happen, and pass. 

Contrary to her previous entrance, her younger sister slipped in with barely a squeak of the door. It was quiet enough that neither Anne nor Theo noticed her until they reached a particularly difficult bit in their current piece. Anne broke off with a frustrated hiss. 

"Hold up, Theo, I'm going to have to take that bit again. D'you mind?" 

"No problem. Which bar?"

" Umif we could go from twenty-seven, that's the bar with my upbeat"

"Twenty-seven, that's fine. You can count in."

" Right. One – Terry, I didn't notice you!" Her sister was just shutting the door behind her. "You were quiet." 

"I didn't want to stop you in the middle of the piece. It sounded really nice." Terry hitched herself up onto the table nearest the door – the one, Anne noted, that she herself usually sat on. "Don't mind me. I just want to listen for a little bit."

" As long as you _remain_ quiet." Theo had turned to give Terry what Anne presumed was a hard stare. She could only see the back of his head, and Terry's slight but noticeable return glare. There was going to be no love lost between them, she thought with an inward sigh. And she'd hoped they could at least tolerate each other. 

"I'm not six or something," Terry said with a toss of her head. "Just because I'm a first-year." 

"Well, you Gryffindors never seem to know when to keep your mouths shut." 

"Twenty-seven!" interrupted Anne quickly. "I'll just count in half a bar, OK?" 

Theo turned back to the piano with an arrogant dignity that belied Terry's narrowed eyes. "Certainly." 

Thankfully for Anne's peace of mind, Terry kept her promise, and even managed to keep her mouth shut during the several halts, half-arguments, and repeats that marked the rest of the minuet. Anne concentrated only on the music and playing it; Theo seemed to reciprocate. He was definitely ignoring Terry. He almost managed to shed the enigmatic mood that had marked the first few minutes of the practise. 

"I really think you need to play this a little more quietly. The crescendo doesn't make sense otherwise," Anne argued, pointing to a bar near the end of the piece. 

"It's mezzo-forte, it needs to be loud," Theo riposted. "The end is double forte, it needs to be really loud there." 

"But if you want a dynamic contrast you need to be quieter here. Just because you _can_ play it at that volume doesn't mean you should." Anne could allow herself to get worked up over this. It was safe. 

"I _like_ playing it at that volume." Anne could sense a weakening, and zeroed in for the kill. 

"But we're trying to make it sound the best it can, so you don't need to. Can we at least try it a little quieter? Please?" 

Theo sighed with a touch of theatricality. "If we must. It isn't as if there'll be anyone to appreciate it."

" That isn't the point with music, and you know it." Anne couldn't help laughter tingeing her voice. 

"I know." Theo shot her a quick smile. 

"_I'm_ listening to it," Terry pointed out from her corner. "It sounds good. You guys must have been practising it a lot." 

Theo's head jerked around. He'd clearly managed to put her out of his mind. 

"Then what do you think about the dynamic?" Anne recognised the Slytherin ability to jump on the nearest opportunity. "Louder or softer?"

Terry looked more than a little taken aback at this questioning of her opinion, but replied all the same.   
"Wellit sounded fine just then -" Anne could nearly feel Theo's satisfaction "-but Anne kinda had a point, it can't hurt to try it again." 

Anne smirked at this display of sisterly loyalty. Theo's face was disgruntled when he turned back to his music. "Fine then. I'll count in. Three, four -"

He was so quick to start Anne nearly missed her entrance and flubbed a couple of notes as a result. But she still thought it did sound better with the altered dynamic. 

"Well?" she asked Theo. "I thought that was better."

He looked oddly torn. "Isuppose so"

Anne did her best not to look at Terry's unrepentant grin behind his back. She could be nicer.   
Theo seemed aware of it anyway. He was oddly focused on Anne. "We should probably stop now, I need to get some homework done." 

Anne wrinkled her nose. "Me too. Defence essay."

" At least we're learning something this year. Anything's better than Umbridge."

" Tell me about it."

" I'll just be going then, shall I?" said Terry pointedly. 

"You know where the door is," Theo answered almost without malice. Terry restrained herself to an ostentatious roll of her eyes and a quick farewell to Anne. Theo she said nothing to. 

"She certainly specialises in exits, your sister," Theo commented. 

"That's Terry. She hates to be left out of things." Anne shrugged. It was very typical Terry behaviour.

"It's her way of saying that she reckons we were ignoring her." 

"It's our practice. She didn't have to be here." 

"If you really didn't want her to listen, you just had to say something-"

"It wasn't important enough." Theo brushed the topic off. "I had other things to think about." 

"Like the meeting last night." Anne pulled the top third of her flute off with a deft twist. "It was interesting, I thought." 

"It was." Theo gathered his music for a few seconds, then said, "I never knew Potter was that good." 

"He's alive. He had to be." Anne felt anyone who had got into as much strife as Harry Potter was brilliant at Defence by default. 

"Yes, but" Theo frowned at the piano. "I thought he was arrogant," he said finally. "He always seems to think the rules don't apply to him. He mouths off to teachers. But he really _is _that good. He had people producing corporeal Patronuses, for Merlin's sake. He taught them that. He had _us_ getting something by the end of the meeting, and that was the first time we'd been." 

"So he's not what you expected." Anne caught on to the reason for his mood. Reflection. "He seemed an OK sort of guy. He can help." 

"He can." Theo turned to look at her. "I didn't really think he could teach me all that much, you know. Since he's in my year. You, of course, since you're a year behind-"

"I'm not that incompetent," Anne put in indignantly.

"-but I learnt something, and I didn't think I would. It was weird." He carried on regardless. "That's all." 

"Is it." Anne clicked the lock on her flute case shut. "I knew you were thinking about something when I came in." 

"Maybe not all." Theo gave her a searching look. "Those Hufflepuffs gave us a bit of a grilling." 

"Oh, I know." Anne remembered anembarrassing conversation with Hannah Abbott that morning. "Hannah Abbott told me this morning that she didn't quite see _why _I'd want to go out with a Slytherin, but I was to know it was quite all right, really. After all, if you'd come to the DA, you must be better than most of them." She knew she was blushing a little, but she tried to ignore it. 

"Did she now." Theo's voice was startled, but she couldn't bring herself to look at his face. "She was probably just trying to make you feel better about all the stares. She takes being a Prefect seriously, I think." 

"I think so, too." Anne finally looked at him again; it wasn't all that bad. "Hermione Granger came up to me in the Library just before lunch and said essentially the same thing, too." 

Theo essayed a smile. "At least you'll have plenty of shoulders to cry on if I break your heart." 

"I told them thank-you but I wasn'twe weren'tyou know." Theo _was_ looking uncomfortable, but no more than she was. That relaxed her a bit. "Then they both patted me on the shoulder and said they quite understood." Anne heard the rest of their comments in her mind, saw the knowing smiles, but chose not to speak them. 

__

Well, I understand, but I think he likes you quite a lot.   
He's not half bad for a Slytherin, you know. _Don't let that put you off. _

"Granger has room to talk, with her and Weasley dancing around each other like that." Theo snorted.

"They'll be grey-haired before they admit to themselves what the whole school knows." 

"Yes, well, that's not news. And it's different." Anne shrugged. "We're not dancing aroundanything." 

She regretted that the moment she'd said it, the moment Theo tilted his head, very slightly, to regard her. The silence was thick with possibilities, thick withcomplications. 

"No. No, we aren't, are we?" His words, slow and cautious, broke the spell. "You know, I knew you knew I was thinking about something today. I just didn't feel like telling you at that point." Theo stood, with his music in one hand, and stretched. "I needed to think about it a little more."

" I can always wait for you to tell me things," Anne said, seizing on the change of subject. "You generally do at some point." 

"I talk to you far too much." Theo's tone was dry. "That's the problem. We both tell each other too much."

" Why do you say that?" Anne tilted her head in inquiry. This topic had not come up since the first few times she and Theo had really talked. She herself was long past worrying; she trusted Theo, and that was that. 

"Is it really a good idea to trust someone too far?" Theo looked down at her pensively. "I trust you, and I've ended up talking to Gryffindors and going to secret Defence meetings organised by Harry Potter. You've ended up spending time voluntarily with a Slytherin. Not that any of those things are bad, _per se_, justodd." 

Anne felt a warm glow spreading inside. She was pretty sure Theo did trust her, but it was nice to hear people say things like that. 

"I think I need trust someone to talk to, or I'd go mad." She knew she was smiling too much for the topic, but that could hardly be helped. "So it doesn't matter."

" Probably not." Theo gave her one of his rare grins. "After all, what could possibly happen?" Anne knew it was meant ironically, but she didn't care. 

"Nothing at all. Terry's even managed to set aside a grudge for a bit, now that's a miracle." 

"She isn't as bad as I thought. For a Gryffindor." 

"Of course she isn't. I'd better get going. I'll see youno, at the next DA meeting. Be safe." 

"And you," replied Theo, with a sharp nod. As Anne slipped past him to leave the room – he almost never left before her, Theo, ever the gentleman - her hand brushed his. The thick feeling in the air was back, with a vengeance, and she hurried out into the draughty corridor. 

__

Oh, god. Not dancing around anything. If we danced around it any more we'd be doing the tango. 

Hmmm. Tango. Theo. I like that idea.

Anne practically ran for the safety of the common room. Away from any pensive, oddly talkative, oddly companionable, rather attract – _impossible_ Slytherins. 


	4. Explaining

****

Chapter Four: Explaining

A/N: Apropos of nothing, the last scene in this chapter is one of my favourite ones from this story - it was certainly fun to write. Herein, Theo has angst, Anne brings up some old memories, and Terry isconfrontational. Unsurprisingly.   


Theo was searching a mouldering pile of Charms texts in the far regions of the library when he felt someone looking at him. He turned around to see Theresa Fairleigh standing behind him, arms akimbo. His eyes automatically scanned around for onlookers. No one. Good; no chance of being caught talking to her. Bad; he couldn't _avoid_ talking to her. 

"Did your dad kill Hector and Elise and their mum and dad?" Terry began with no preamble. 

Theo blinked, caught off guard. What kind of beginning to a conversation was _that_? 

"Who are – oh, your neighbours." He remembered that chilling panic when his father had come home that night and spoken so casually of a raid in Essex on a family of Mudbloods. He'd been walking back to his bedroom after speaking to his father, but the mention of Anne's shire had frozen him on the stairs. 

__

Targets in Essex, this time. We got all of them. Too scared to get away. The Aurors didn't even show up while we were there. 

Don't talk about it, Eric, I don't want to know theminutiae of it. 

All right, Addie, I'll spare you the gory details. You know you'll have to get used to it. They'll overrun us if we don't fight this war, we can't take that risk. Our world's future is at stake. 

I know, I know. I don't care about them_. I just don't like the thought of all that fighting. It's somessy. There should be an easier way. Why can't they see they don't belong to our world?_

As long as there are stubborn, stupid people like Dumbledore, this is_ the only way. The Dark Lord might beexcessive, sometimes, but he'll get us there in the end. Do you want to see our son grow up in a world ruled by Mudbloods and Muggles?_

Of course I don't! I just hate knowing you might get killed by people like them, I hate the fact that we have to risk all this when we shouldn't have to! 

I won't get killed, Addie, not by the likes of them. After all, it's not as if they were real wizards. Don't worry. 

I won't. You're home safe now, that's what counts. 

And Theo had run to his room, spilling ink all over his desk in his haste to scribble a note to Anne. Praying that she was safe. Praying, hoping, waiting. He'd curled up on the broad windowsill of his room, waiting for the owl to return to let him know she was alive. He had still been there when the dawn came, watching. Waiting.   
Praying. 

  
"He said they were all dead" Theo realised with a start he'd spoken aloud. Terry was looking at him, eyes filled with impatience and anger. 

"Well? Did he?" 

"I don't know. Maybe. Not that it's your business." Theo's tones were clipped. Anne was a friend; Anne he liked. Her sister was a presumptuous, sharp-tongued Gryffindor brat. 

"It _is_ my business." Terry took a step closer, eyes flashing. "Hector and Elise were my friends. And they're dead because of stupid people like your dad. I know Anne wants me to be nice to you, but I can't be, if your dad killed them." 

Theo felt the ground shifting under him. He was used to Anne's moreroundabout approach to such issues. More _balanced_ approach. 

"Why not?" he asked, buying time. "Why is it my fault if my dad did something wrong?" 

It was Terry's turn to look puzzled. "Because he's your dad. He's your family."

__

Gryffindors. From Potter down to this raw recruit, they were all the same. 

"Listen to me, Theresa Fairleigh," Theo ground out. "_I am not my father_. He's wrong, okay? He's wrong and he's done some – some very bad things, but I do not agree with them. If I did, I wouldn't be Anne's friend. I wouldn't be talking to you, I'd be hexing you. Can you understand that?" 

"But don't you think he's right because he's your dad? I think my dad's right. But then my dad hasn't killed anyone," the infuriating child said. Theo squeezed his eyes shut, trying to regain perspective. 

"I did. Once. I thought – everyone thinks that once. But parents are just people, and they can be wrong too." 

"I suppose so." Terry looked unimpressed. "So are you friends with my sister because you like her, or did you make friends with her first?"

"Generally one likes one's friends." Theo did his best impression of Snape at his most arrogant. 

"That's not what I meant." Terry frowned, but abandoned that line of attack. "Why don't you want anyone to know you're her friend? Will your parents kick you out or something?" 

Theo couldn't help the sarcasm that dripped from his voice. "No, my father might murder Muggleborns, but of course he'd be happy for me to be friends with one." 

Terry nodded. "I thought so." Theo could see a metaphor forming in her head. "Sort of like in Germany ages ago if we were Jewish." 

"Huh?" The reference sailed right past Theo. 

"You know, like the Holocaust and the Nazis and all that stuff? I read a story about it at school." Terry looked at him like he'd just denied knowing grass was green. 

"Why should I know about Muggle history?" Theo shrugged. Muggle history had never concerned the wizarding world much, so his parents had always said, apart from when they decided to go witch hunting. 

__

hold on there. Your parents always said Muggles were all total idiots, too. Beethoven was a Muggle. Muggles invented the piano. Are we seeing any holes in this?

"Well you _should_ know about it. It's really important." Terry adopted a lecturing tone. "See, there were these people in Germany ages ago, sort of like the Death Eaters, and they killed people if they were Jewish. Or Communist. But I'm not really sure what that means. And they were really evil and they killed millions and millions of people and took over lots of Europe and there was a big war, it's called World War II, before they were stopped. And they killed my granddad too." She paused to take a breath. "But they're all dead now." 

"They might be, but the Death Eaters aren't." Theo felt uncomfortable. An eleven-year-old was giving him a history lecture. How could _she_ know anything important? "Now I'd better go before someone sees me talking to you." He stalked past, wishing she'd just gone away. How did Anne deal with her sister getting in the way like this? Wanting to talk, and know things, andjust _being_ there all the time? 

"Fine then." Terry went off in a huff, fortunately in another direction. Theo didn't understand. He'd _explained_ to her. Anne must have, by now. It wasn't personal. 

Well, it was personal that he thought she was an annoying brat, but apart from that it wasn't. 

__

They killed millions and millions of peoplesort of like the Death Eatersdid he kill Elise and Hector? Did he? 

Did you, Dad? 

__

Did you? 

***

Theo was in a fine temper that Saturday, and Anne saw it immediately. Something had been nagging at him at the DA meeting that Tuesday, too, but he'd kept it under control therefor the main part. Harry Potter had split them up into pairs based on ability with the Stunning curse. Theo had either gone wildly astray or knocked his opponent a good metre backwards, quite apart from Stunning them. Anne had discovered an innate reluctance to _let_ someone Stun her, even someone like Dennis Creevy. She'd added to his problems by ducking every time he shot the curse at her (no matter that it had only given her a bad headache when it hit.) Hermione Granger had caught her apologising to the third-year and dismissed it impatiently. (_For goodness' sake, there's nothing wrong with it! Death Eaters won't stand still for you to Stun them, and you shouldn't be standing still for them, either!_)

Anne had desperately wanted to ask Theo _why_ he was in such a temper, but that had proved impossible at the meeting. Today, casual inquiry "Is something wrong?" had provided more, perhaps, than she wanted to know. She was still surprised Theo felt relaxed enough to lose his temper in front of her. 

"She's _impossible!_" Theo stormed. "I thought my cousins were bad but your sister is being soso Gryffindor it's a wonder no one's hexed her! Just coming up to me and holding me accountable for my father's crimes! Of all the damnably arrogant, discourteous- " 

Anne felt a flicker of hurt at this description of her younger sister, but kept her mouth shut. Terry had never been accused of either tact or humility, any more than Theo had. 

"I can think of other people to apply that description to," she murmured, hitching herself up onto the table. 

Theo's mouth snapped shut and he turned to glare balefully at her. "That is not the _point_." 

"How much time have you spent around kids younger than you? Really?" Anne asked. 

Theo shrugged. "_I_ was her age once and I'm sure I possessed a semblance of tact."

Anne rolled her eyes. "Yeah, so was Professor Snape. Once. And speaking truthfully you're as tactful as I am noisy." Theo gave her another glare, but it was far more muted. "Eleven-year-olds are like that. Believe me, Terry doesn't single you out for special treatment." 

"That I can believe." He leant back against the wall, apparently more relaxed. "I was passing the Potions classroom the other day – her lesson must've just finished – and I heard Snape reading her the riot act about "letting her meagre talent go to her head." He compared her rather unfavourably to Hermione Granger." 

"Now that _will_ get to her head." That earned Anne a smile. "Terry told me about that. She was embarrassed, too – she knows she has to mind her Ps and Qs in Potions, and she let her tongue run away with her." 

"The thing is," Theo responded wryly "there was a backhanded compliment buried in that dressing-down." 

Anne laughed. "Terry always did have patience when it comes to _doing_ things. It's the theory she hates. She can't hold still long enough. It drives me insane, sometimes." 

"Then you know how _I_ feel," Theo shot back, but the tone was conciliatory. "Maybe you are right. I've never had much patience with my cousins and I don't see children younger than I am, not often anyway. And I just wish -"

"You wish what?" 

Theo pushed his hair back – a sign of thought, Anne had come to realise – and gave her a disturbingly direct look. "I wish we could go back to last year when it was just you and me. Not all thisTerry and the DA and everything." 

Anne couldn't help looking down for a second, but she felt warm inside. "Iyeah, me too." She looked up again, but holding Theo's gaze was hard. He was maybe a metre away, but that was too close. And not close enough. There was that dancing around the point, again. 

"II need to get back to the common room," Theo said, but his voice was quiet. 

Anne nodded. "Mmm. Okay." 

She slipped down off the table and reached for her folder and flute. As she turned to leave, feeling nearly claustrophobic, Theo touched her lightly on the shoulder. The contact nearly made her jump. 

"See you on – at the next DA meeting, then." 

"Yeah." She hesitated before hugging him goodbye. It was brief on both sides. Anne knew that she was scared of what came next, otherwise. And so was Theo.

***

Terry showed up again in the small practice room a few Saturdays later. It was getting close to the Christmas holidays, and Theo didn't _want_ her there. His goal for the day had been to subtly discover an appropriate Christmas present idea for Anne without letting on that was what he was doing. Terry's presence was not noticeably contributing to this. Still, she wasn't being actively obnoxious. In fact, she was surprisingly agreeable. 

"Do you know who made that swamp?" Terry asked. There was a wistful tone in her voice, the meaning of which eluded Theo entirely. What was so wonderful about a _swamp_? 

"Fred and George Weasley," said Anne matter-of-factly as she examined the interior of her flute. "You know Ron and Ginny Weasley?" 

Terry nodded eagerly. "Ron Weasley's in sixth year and he's Harry Potter's best friend and he's a Prefect and he told me off lots because I ran into Hermione Granger in the corridor cause I was running, and he's the Keeper on the Quidditch team. And Ginny Weasley's his sister and she's a Chaser and she's nice and everyone thinks it was her that hexed all the Slytherin cutlery last week -"

"_Do_ they, now," said Theo. He could appreciate the dexterity of the Charms work, but flying cutlery was not high on his list of things to look forward to at dinner. 

"Oops!" Terry clapped a hand to her mouth. 

"My lips are sealed, Gryffindor, never fear." It _had_ been quite amusing. 

Anne's lips twitched. "Yes. Anyway, they're Fred and George's younger siblings – Fred and George were twins, and they made that swamp last year before they left Hogwarts, in the middle of all that stuff with Umbridge. It was a lot bigger, but Professor Flitwick got rid of most of it." 

"I'm glad he left some," Terry said, eyes shining. "It's so _cool_. There's plants and everything, and I'm going to find out which ones they are." 

"It's a _swamp_," remarked Theo, despairing. 

"But it's a _magic_ swamp," Terry shot back. 

Theo exchanged rueful glances with Anne, who shrugged. Her sister was so different to her; so loud, so eagerly curious, soGryffindor. Theo wondered how the same family had produced them. 

"Lots of things at Hogwarts are magical," Theo pointed out. 

"Yes, they are," Anne replied, "but you grew up with magic. It's been all around you sincesince forever. Terry's only been here for three months; the most magic she ever saw before that was some of my photos." 

"How do they do that?" Terry broke in. "Make the photos move? Everyone just says it's magic, they don't _know_." 

"How does a – what do you call it – the thing that shows the, um, movies -" Theo scrambled for the right word. 

"Television," Anne supplied with a small smile. 

"Telele – yes, that was it. Do you know how one of those works, Terry?" he asked her. 

Terry opened her mouth confidently, then paused. "No." 

"There you go." Theo shrugged. "_I_ don't know why photos move; _you_ don't know how – that thing works. You don't ask about what you've grown up with." 

"Ask Colin Creevy," Anne suggested to her sister. "He's Muggle-born, so he can probably explain it to you, and he knows all about photography."

"Is that the blond boy in fifth year who takes pictures of everything and thinks Harry Potter's the coolest person in the world?"

Theo suppressed a snort. 

"That would be Colin," said Anne dryly. 

"He was Petrified four years ago, wasn't he?" Theo asked idly. He knew _of_ Colin Creevy, at least. He was hard to miss. 

"That's right." Anne shivered, and Theo looked at her in surprise. As far as he knew, none of her friends had been hurt that year. "I hated that year." 

"But none of the Hufflepuffs were hurt – oh, wait, Justin Finch-Fletchly was, but I didn't know you knew him at all."

Anne stared at him in astonishment. "It wasn't _about_ my friends not getting hurt. It was about knowing that there was some monster prowling the school attacking Muggle-borns, when I'd only found out I was a witch a few months ago!"

Theo frowned. He never had thought of that year in that way. It had beenunsettling, but he'd been safe enough and that was all that had mattered, then. 

"You never talked about that," Terry said. "I read _all_ your letters that year, and you didn't talk about people getting hurt, or Petrified, or whatever." 

"I didn't want to." Anne looked down at the floor, then up at Theo. He could see the old fear in her eyes. "Mum and Dad had a hard enough time believing about magic, andI was terrified they wouldn't let me stay, if they knew."

"No one was too happy about the attacks. Especially when they were going to close the school," Theo said. "I wasn't keen on the idea myself. Malfoy acted like it was a victory, but"

__

Even then, I dreaded leaving, because with Hogwarts comes the learning. Only the Ravenclaws really understand that, I think – but I don't want it for itself. Because knowledge gives me a way out, a way to choose my own life. If I'd lost Hogwarts, I would have lost that path. 

"Did you know people who were Petrified?" Terry asked, hooking one of her legs up onto the table under the other. 

"No." Anne shook her head. "Only Colin, and I didn't know him well. I still don't."

"Oh, no." Theo shrugged. "I wasn't exactly upset by the whole thing. Theywere only -" he nearly bit his tongue stopping himself, at Terry's wide-eyed gaze. "Only from other Houses." 

"But that's _awful! _They could have been _killed!_" Terry exclaimed, outraged. Anne reached across to pat her on the shoulder. 

"And you would have cared about people _you_ didn't know."

"That's so_Slytherin_." Terry glared at Theo, who stared back impassively. 

__

I didn't _care. Most I didn't know and those I did know I didn't like. And they were Muggleborn, and I really didn't care about that. _

So why not say that to Terry?

Anne looked down at the floor. "It was a bad year, though." She looked up to meet Theo's eyes. "I was so homesick, and timid, and people were being nearly killed. It was sheer luck no one was, you know. And then to almost lose Hogwarts, lose the magicThat was the worst day of my life. The day they said they were closing the school."

"You never told me it was that bad, that year," said Theo. He was a little hurt that she hadn't. 

Anne waved a hand. "The subject never came up, and I didn't want to think about it." 

"Harry Potter killed the basilisk, didn't he?" Terry broke in. "Someone said he did it with just a sword, too!"

"He did." Anne smiled at some memory. "When Professor Sprout came to our common room tell us it was all right, they weren't closing the schoolthat was amazing. It felt like a reprieve from execution." 

"Very like," Theo said softly, and he caught her eyes. They held the same remembered deep joy and relief he had felt. 

Terry was clearly bored with these undercurrents. She pulled back the overlong sleeve of her school robe to look at her watch. Whatever time it told must have startled her, because she slipped off the table with a yelp. "I'm supposed to be meeting Cait and Alex to do our History essay five minutes ago, got to go, see you tomorrow Anne, bye Theo -"

Her last sentence was cut off by the bang of the door. 

"Your sister is rather.impetuous," Theo said dryly. 

Anne snorted. "I'm not surprised she was told off for running in the corridor, I'm surprised she ever _walks_ in the corridor." She moved along to hitch herself up onto the spot Terry had vacated. "I've been thinking about that year. With the Chamber of Secrets. I thought it was bad being Muggle-born then." She shook her head. "It all seems a bitsilly, now. No one was badly hurt, no one died."

"They could have." Theo kicked his stool a bit closer to the table. "It wasn't silly, not then. A monster stalking the school. It was terrifying." 

"It was." Anne tilted her head slightly and gave him the scrutinising glance that heralded one of _those_ questions. Theo unconsciously straightened his shoulders to meet the blow. 

"Why did you change what you were saying to Terry?" Anne asked. 

Theo frowned. He knew why, but it was difficult to articulate. Embarrassing to articulate, too, if it came to it. 

"The thing is," he began hesitantly, "Terry doesn't like me very much, but that's because I'm in Slytherin and because ofbecause of my father. And I think she's actually learning to tolerate me. Sort of."

Anne nodded. "As much as you tolerate her, but she isn't that hung up about your House or your father. The worst she says of you is that you're really grumpy even if you _are_ good at playing the piano. She's quite impressed with that, you know?" 

"Really?" Theo did his best not to smile. Praise from Terry wasn't that wonderful. It wasn't. "She's not so bad. Justopinionated. And noisy." 

Anne raised her eyebrows. "High praise indeed."

Theo shot her a look. "The _point_ is, everyone else who thinks I'm an evil nasty Slytherin thinks I believe what the Death Eaters do. About Muggle-borns, and all that. Even the _Death Eaters_ think I believe what they do. Being in the DA helps, but" he trailed off. His peers in that group were still wary of someone they'd thought of as Malfoy's crony. None of them were openly hostile – except for Zachariah Smith, who was simply petty – but there was a barrier. He wasn't there because he wanted to be their friend, and they knew it. 

"Some of the Hufflepuff sixth-years were asking me about you. Not about us, I mean, you know, what they think, um, yeah, but about you." Anne stumbled to a close, fidgeting with her sleeve. 

"Why?" Theo felt himself jerk backwards in astonishment. Asking about him? 

"They're curious, I think. About why you're in the DA, and why you keep to yourself so much." 

"Because I feel like it," Theo responded dryly. "As much as you do."

"I know," Anne smiled. "But it's not something you can explain easily to someone as gregarious as Ernie Macmillan." 

"I shouldn't think so." Theo knew he owed Anne a full answer to her question. "But about Terry, and changing my answerTerry doesn't have all that baggage about knowing me for five years. She can dislike me if she wants to, but I'd rather she didn't dislike me for something _I _don't like about me. She's so young, and, I don't know, innocent, I supposeI feel like if I'd said 'only Muggle-borns' I'd bedisappointing her? Disillusioning her? And I don't want to do that. It'll happen soon enough."

Anne bit her lip, thinking, and Theo silently prayed she'd understand what he was saying. 

"You want Terry to judge you on your own merits, not just dump you in the same category as everyone else does," Anne said eventually.

"Exactly." Theo ran a hand through his hair, grinning at Anne in relief. She'd got it. "Terry's sort of – it's partly because she's your sister, and partly – I don't know – because she's eleven, I feel like an adult compared to her. She thinks you and I are so old and knowledgeable. Not that I'm saying I _like _her a lot," he hastened to add, "but I'm so sick of pretending. I have to pretend to everyone, noweveryone except you. Stopping myself saying things like that is a sort of pretending, but it's the sort that makes you want to make it true. I _did_ think those people were just Muggle-born. But I don't think I would now. I mean, I would, but I wouldn't think that they deserved to be Petrified or killed by a basilisk because of it." 

Anne was still biting her lip, but in an effort to keep from smiling, now. She gave up and laughed. "I'm glad to hear it. I know what you mean, about Terry. That's why I'm so glad I have her, and Eddie, and Nicola. They're a nuisance, sometimes, but they believe in you, so you end up doing things just so they won't stop believing. And then you end up being what they believe you are." 

"I doubt that will happen."

"You never know." Anne paused. "Do you ever wish you'd had siblings?"

"I used to," Theo admitted, "but nowno. It'd be too hard. I'd have to pretend to them, or if they were older, they'd have to, maybe, orno. I think now"

"Yes?" Anne prompted softly. 

"The less family I have, the less I'll have to leave behind ifif this war keeps on going, and I can't beyou know." 

"Oh." Anne looked down at the flute case on her lap. "I never really thought you'd do that."

"Do what?"

"Go." She looked up at him again. "You seemed so confident you wouldn't have to choose sides." 

Theo laughed, but it wasn't out of humour. "I was wrong. I can't walk that line. Maybe someone else could, I don't know. If it wasn't for Dad - but I have to make that choice, so there isn't a choice."

"I knew that, I think." Anne took a deep breath. "You never pretended to me, did you?" 

"Can you see the me I was then _wanting_ to?"

"Nope."

"Of course not. I had to work out what I was thinking, first. Besides, I'd rather" Theo hesitated. "I never wanted to pretend to you. First I didn't think to, and then you were the only person it was safe not to, and then - I just wanted you to - I needed you to understand" 

"So did I," Anne said. 


	5. Pretending

****

Chapter Five: Pretending 

A/N: In which we finally meet Theo's parents. This, in case I haven't mentioned, is the second to last chapter - Discoveries worked out about the same length as Distractions simply because they cover the same length of time. 

It was snowing when Theo came home for Christmas. The overgrown farmhouse on the Yorkshire moors blazed with light from every window as he opened the door, breath steaming in the freezing air. The house had been in the Nott family for generations. Theo often wondered why it hadn't been sold; it betrayed in every worn wooden beam and uneven floorboard the origins his family tried so desperately to hide. They had never been very rich, or very well known, or even very powerful. Just middling along in the same place for centuries, never rising, but never falling either. Supporting the most powerful, and surviving because of it. The Notts had weathered wars and famines and storms in this house. 

__

And we will again, won't we? One way or another, the family goes on, whether it's me or my parents. For God's sake, our motto is "choose thy allies wisely". At least I'm not breaking that_ tradition. _

Adrienne Nott greeted him as he came in, dragging his school trunk. 

"It's wonderful to have you home for the holidays, Theodore." His mother gave him a warm hug, which he accepted, seeing as there was no one around to observe. 

"I'm glad to finally _be_ home." He meant it, too. 

"Leave your trunk there, Essie will take it up." Essie was their house elf; she had been in the family since before Theo's birth. Theo followed his mother through to the living room. There was a tray on the low coffee table with a steaming teapot. Theo took the cup his mother offered him eagerly.

"Thanks, it's _freezing_ out there." 

"It has been cold, we've had all the fires going. How has your term been? You haven't been writing as often as you did last year." 

Theo sensed rebuke in his mother's tone. He settled back onto the couch. 

"I know, I'm sorry." He gave her a rueful smile. "The way the teachers are acting, you'd think our NEWTs were this year! Besides, nothing really interesting has been happeningnot at school, anyway." 

His mother's mouth tightened. "I wouldn't call it _interesting_. Your father on the run from Fudge and all those idiots at the Ministry when he should be safely home. I wish this wretched war was over." 

"When we're finally getting our own back after sixteen years?" Theo hoped he sounded appropriately indignant. The shock wasn't feigned. 

"Well, of course I'm glad it's going so well." His mother sipped her tea. "I just want your father to be safe, dear. I want him home." 

"So do I." Theo closed his eyes for a moment. Partly in appreciation of the warmth, partly to hide them. He did want his father back, but

"Will he be visiting us for Christmas?" he asked anxiously. 

Adrienne Nott's eyes lit up. "Yes, he will. I'm not sure when exactly, but the Ministry aren't keeping a watch on the house as far as we can tell — the privacy laws keep them out. Besides, they have enough on their plate." 

"They do." Theo shared a satisfied smile with his mother. Sometimes what scared him wasn't putting this mask on — it was how easily it came back. How long had it been since he'd believed this? 

"Did you get all your Christmas shopping done?" his mother asked. "I still have to go into York for a few things." 

"No, I did it all on the last Hogsmeade weekend." After much soul-searching, he had bought Anne a pretty gold and black beaded hair clip. It had seemedright, and besides, she was forever losing the things. Tracey Davis had cornered him coming out of the shop, but he'd managed to get by with the excuse that he'd been looking for something for his mother. 

"Any homework for the holidays?"

"Too much." Theo made a face. "I was hoping to get some more piano practice in, but it probably won't happen." 

"You have been practising at school, haven't you?" His mother's tone was sharp. 

"Yes, Mum," he said in a sing-song voice. "But there's no one to share it with. There's no point to music, without that."

"No, there isn't much. Are you sure there isn't _anyone_ in your House who plays music?"

"Maybe, but no one that I know of," Theo said truthfully. 

His mother clucked her tongue. "Honestly, you'd think more parents would encourage their children — but these days it's all Quidditch!" 

"It's ridiculous," Theo agreed. "The only people I ever see using the practice rooms are -" he halted. "The sort of people I don't wish to associate with." 

"I can imagine." His mother frowned delicately. "Why don't you tell me about the journey home?"

"Well," Theo began, "it wasn't snowing at Hogwarts, it was just really cold" 

__

I wish I could tell you the truth. 

***

The weather in Essex was cool but clear. Anne paused to admire the white sheet of snow laid over their garden before she went back to the car to help Terry with her school trunk. Edmund, to her complete surprise, hurried out to help as well. 

"Anne, hold up, I'll give you a hand!" 

Terry let go of her end, which Edmund took. "Here we go."]

"Thanks, Eddie," Anne said breathlessly as they lugged it inside, "didn't think you'd do that."

"Hey, I'm not that useless," her younger brother protested. 

"That lazy, maybe," she shot back, laughing. Their mother held the door open for them as they went inside. 

"Good on you, would you mind taking it up to Terry's room?" 

Anne and Edmund both groaned, but complied. 

"Thanks guys!" Terry yelled as she rocketed past them up the stairs to her room. They paused for breath half way up. 

"Tell me again why we put up with her?" Edmund complained. 

"Excuse me, I've been putting up with her for three months and you haven't!" 

"I know." Eddie grinned. "It's been _brilliant_." 

Anne rolled her eyes. 

"We did miss you, y'know," he said when they finally got to Terry's room. She was bouncing around like a maniac. "I really wanted to go to Hogwarts when I heard about it, and now you and Terry are both going"

Anne put her hand on his arm. "It's just like having blue eyes, Eddie. Some people do, some people don't. There's nothing wrong about being a Muggle." 

"See, there you are!" He shook her off angrily. "I'm just a "Muggle", you two are witches!"

"There are downsides to this, you know," Anne said coolly. "Like having to live away from home? Like having people want to kill you cause you're a witch and your parents aren't?"

Eddie blinked. "Like Elise and Hector and their parents?"

"Exactly like." Anne stalked over to the window. Clouds were coming in from the north, dark with snow. "I'm sorry, Eddie, but it's just not as easy as you make out."

"But you still have that, and I don't." His voice was resentful.

"Leave Anne alone, Eddie, it's not her fault!" Terry's voice rang out sharply. 

"I know." He bowed his head, thrusting his hands into his pockets. "Not a great welcome for you two, huh? I'm sorry. Look, come on down, Mum's made some crumpets for afternoon tea." 

"Crumpets? Yummy!" Terry was out of the room before they could blink. 

Anne turned away from the window to come over to Eddie. She put her arm around his shoulders.

"Let's enjoy the holidays, okay? I've got lots of homework, so I'd rather not fight when we've got free time." 

"All right." Eddie, to her astonishment, hugged her back. "I am glad to have you home, sis. You're away too much." 

Anne smiled into his shoulder. He was much taller than her, now, even if he was only fourteen. "I think so too."

***

Theo arrived in the dining room for breakfast on New Year's Day to find his father sitting on one side of the table, reading the paper like he'd never left. He couldn't suppress a delighted yell. 

"Dad, you're home!" 

Eric Nott put down the paper and rose to embrace his son. "I am. For a while, at least. I'm sorry I wasn't here for Christmas, but it was too risky. The Ministry would almost certainly have been watching that day."

"I don't mind, I'm just glad you're here," Theo said fervently as he sat down at the table. "Did you get the Christmas present I bought you?" he added anxiously. 

"Yes, I did. I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but I'm looking forward to it," his father assured him.   
Theo grinned. He'd bought his father a book on the history of the Puddlemere United Quidditch team. His father supported them, and it had seemed appropriately neutral. Anne had sent him a book for Christmas, too; a Muggle one about the five greatest innovations in Western music. It had a lot of terms he was struggling with, but he could always ask her. Terry had, surprisingly, sent a card. It read "Dear Theo, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. If you want to go out with Anne I don't mind and I think she will say yes. From Theresa Terry." It was soTerry he'd almost thrown it out in sheer frustration, but to his private astonishment ended up keeping it along with his present from Anne. (Tucked inside his History of Magic textbook from last year; a few minutes' work with his penknife had sorted that out. He knew it was melodramatic, but it had to be somewhere his mother would never, ever look.)

"How long are you staying?" Theo asked as he spread marmalade on his toast. 

"Just for the morning, but I thought I'd grab the chance to read the paper in comfort," his father replied, picking the _Prophet_ up again. "So, tell me about your term." 

"There hasn't really been anything worth talking about." Theo shrugged. "The teachers are giving us insane amounts of work, but it isn't quite as bad as last year. We lost our first Quidditch match to Gryffindor. It was rather humiliating. Someone in Gryffindor hexed all our cutlery to fly when we picked it up, the next morning." He took a bite of toast. "Mmmph. We're pretty sure it was that Weasley girl, but there isn't any proof." He scowled. "Worse than her brothers." 

"That whole family are trouble," muttered his father darkly, "but if they must insist on hanging around Potter, they aren't going to survive much longer." 

"What a pity." Theo snorted. "One good thing about picking our classes this year; I've got far more classes with mostly people from my House."

"I enjoyed that about sixth year," his father agreed. "You aren't getting up to anything in the broom closets, I take it?"

"Dad!" Theo _knew_ he was going red. "Of course not!"

His father lowered the newspaper to eye him over it. 

"I mean — not that that would be a bad thing — but I'm not — stop looking at me like that!" Theo spluttered. 

Eric Nott smirked. "Just wondering." 

Theo glowered and picked up the sports section. Which wasn't the sports section — his father had that — but the front page. 

His hand froze halfway to his mouth as he read the headline. He swallowed, and forced himself to keep eating as though nothing had happened. "_REIGN OF TERROR"_ the _Prophet_ shrieked. Sixteen co-ordinated attacks on New Year's Eve, the worst yet. Twenty-nine people dead, two of them Aurors. Four Hogwarts students. Theo's eyes flicked above the paper to his father, who seemed to be deeply absorbed in the Quidditch scores. Thank God. 

Theo scanned the article frantically for locations. There were no names, not yet. London, Bristol, Manchester, Hereford, the Isle of Mannowhere was Chelmsford, Essex mentioned. His heart began to slow. Not Anne. Not her. Would this happen every time there was an attack, he wondered? Was he going to spend every day this coming summer scanning the pages, wondering if this time it _had_ been her?

__

I hate this war. I hate it.

"Is that why you were so busy? Preparing for this?" he inquired calmly. 

"Hmm? Oh, yes, it was. We were unlucky." Eric Nott grimaced. "Two of ours dead. They were onto us in a couple of places, we haven't worked out why." 

"A spy?" Theo said sharply. 

"Probably not." His father shook his head. "Just word of mouth — someone tells their wife who tells a friend who's trustworthy who tells another who's not quite so trustworthy and so onuntil it gets to the Ministry. You know how rumour works. The Dark Lord was upset, though."

"I can imagine," said Theo dryly as he turned the page. 

"No, you can't." Theo looked up to see his father's mouth tighten. "You'll be all right, if you have to fight this war; you're not the sort of person who gets noticed a lot. It's one problem with the Dark Lord, he doesn't take excuses. Always bow your head to him, remember that." 

Theo shivered. He remembered Moody's demonstration of the Cruciatus Curse — no, it hadn't been Moody, had it? in fourth year. 

"But you think he can win the war for us?"

"I know he can." His father nodded decisively. "We would have won, last time, if it hadn't been for Potter. And that won't happen again. You may not always like the Dark Lord's methods, Theo — working with psychopaths like Bellatrix Lestrange isn't much fun — but you have to understand this. The ends are worth the means, and if the Dark Lord is the end to securing the wizarding world's future, so be it. We need him. He _is_ one of us, despite those rumours going around. Just propaganda." Eric Nott scowled as he turned a page. "Those Muggle-lovers will say anything to try and stop us. Pathetic, really."

Theo nodded. Ginny Weasley's light, derisive voice at one of the DA meetings echoed in his ears. 

__

Voldemort? Of course it's true. His father was a Muggle, but he abandoned Voldemort's mother and left Tom — Tom Riddle, that was his real name — to grow up in an orphanage. So now he's trying to get revenge by killing people. He was Head Boy, you know; one of the brightest students ever. He could have been anything he wanted, could have proved that blood doesn't matter, but instead he's skulking around murdering Muggles. Some people just can't learn to let things go. Pathetic, really.

"I know, Dad," he said. "I just want to help win this war. Whatever it takes. I know you'd always do the right thing." That was so easy to say. He had thought that, once. 

"I don't doubt you, Theodore." His father smiled at him. "You'll go a long way if you hold on to that conviction."

"Of course I will, Dad," Theo said. 

***

Anne was relieved to get back to Hogwarts. Christmas had been wonderful - Theo had sent a very thoughtful and very pretty present, as well as a pack - a _small_ pack - of sugar quills for Terry. (The recipient had said "You're bloody joking!" when informed who the present was from, earning herself a severe reprimand from her mother.) The accompanying note had read "_Snape will gut you if you eat them in class, but Binns won't notice. Merry Christmas, Theo." _ Eddie had teased her mercilessly about her own present, mainly because Terry had said very loudly "Theo must have spent ages choosing that, don't you think, Anne?" Anne had just enjoyed having her whole family around her again. It might be for only a short time, but she had it. She'd never really wanted to go to a boarding school, but magic had changed everything. 

After the New Year's attacks, however, the joy of the holidays had been cut brutally short. She and Terry had spent their days jumping at shadows, afraid to set foot outside the house. She had been keenly aware of the fact that she was the only witch in the neighbourhood apart from Terry. Last summer, she might have gone down to the Martins' house. But they had been dead for six months now. 

On the last day before their return, Anne had forced herself to leave the house just to prove that fear did not make her a prisoner in her own home. She had volunteered to take Nicola down to the park to play. Terry had elected to stay home, but much to Anne's surprise, Eddie had come with them. He seemed to have been trying all holidays to make up for his outburst upon their arrival. 

They'd stayed at the park for an hour, Eddie and Nicola playing a breathless game of tag. Anne had watched them until the other two had forced her to join in. The game had degenerated into a furious snow fight before they'd all collapsed on a park bench. Eddie had piggybacked Nicola half the way home, Anne the other half. It would have been relaxing if Anne hadn't spent her time with one eye on the trees around the park, hand resting on the wand that never left her these days. That was half the reason she had been "in" so much during the game of tag. 

When she entered Hogwarts, she could feel her shoulders loosen. Mai, Gabby and Sarah were there to greet her and Ellie. They swept them along to the Hufflepuff common room and a roaring fire. 

"I wish the holidays were longer," Ellie complained as she lowered herself onto a couch. "It seemed like they were barely started and now we're back at school."

"And we know the teachers'll be on our backs with OWLs in less than six months," Sarah added gloomily from her armchair. 

Gabby shrugged. "At least we had two weeks. And did you hear what happened? Helen Thompson and Brian -"

Anne leant over to Mai, who was sitting on the floor with her head against the arm of the couch Anne, Gabby and Ellie were sharing. Mai's face was shadowed. 

"Mai, are you okay?" 

"My parents want to move back to Vietnam." She said it flatly. Gabby's exited rendition of the latest gossip cut off short. 

"What?" Gabby spluttered. "But — but _why_? Your sister just started here this year, and -" 

"Why do you think, Gabby?" Ellie's voice was sarcastic. "Didn't you read the papers over the holidays?" 

"Will you and Peggy have to leave Hogwarts?" Sarah asked, leaning over to touch Mai's shoulder. 

"No." Mai leaned her head back against the couch arm, closing her eyes. The firelight was playing on her golden skin. "Peggy and I can stay, we were born in England. For the rest of the year, at least." 

"I can understand why they'd do that," Sarah said. "With the way things are now, who wouldn't leave if they had the chance?" 

"I'd send my family somewhere safe, if I could," Anne admitted. 

"Yes, but they're Muggles, they can't protect themselves." Gabby tossed her long chestnut hair over her shoulder. "Honestly, if everyone runs away, how are we going to fight You-Know-Who? We can't be that silly." 

"_Silly." _Ellie spat the word. "People are dying, Gabby, they're dying every week! There are some things that some of us just can't fight! There's no shame in being afraid of that!" She bowed her head and clenched her hands in her lap. Anne moved a little closer to her. 

"Don't you remember Alisa Marchant, Gabby? Slytherin, in your Muggle Studies class?" Sarah asked. "She _died_ in the summer. There's no magic that can keep us all safe."

"Well — yes — but they're not going to attack _us_," Gabby said. "We're just — what have we done? I mean if we were like some of those Gryffindors, or we were Muggleborn, we might be in danger but they're never going to touch ordinary people like us. Alisa's dad was Muggleborn. That's all." 

"_Anne_ is Muggleborn, our _friend_, or hadn't you noticed?" Mai shot back, but Anne wasn't paying attention. She was watching Ellie, whose shoulders had begun to shake. 

"Ellie. Did someone you know get hurt?" she asked gently. 

Ellie nodded, but didn't look up. Anne put her arm around Ellie's shoulders. The other girl was much taller, but she turned convulsively into Anne's hug. 

"My aunt," she whispered. "She was having dinner with friends and they tortured her and they killed her. Just because she was there. Her dad got killed last time and now she's dead and they never did anything, Anne! I hate them, all of those Death Eaters and Slytherins, they killed her for nothing" She broke down into quiet sobs. Anne rested her head on Ellie's shoulder, muttering soothing words. Mai and Gabby were having a full-scale sniping match. Sarah's voice snapped out above them. 

"Shut _up_, you two, can't you see Ellie's crying?" 

Anne didn't move. She stared into the flickering flame and shadows of the fireplace, holding Ellie while she cried. 

__

Ordinary peopleDeath Eaters and Slytherinsoh, Gabby, if only it were that easy. 

***

She said as much to Theo when they were leaving the DA meeting that Thursday. They'd been trying something new, this time: Harry Potter had got Hermione Granger and Neville Longbottom to fight a duel in front of the whole group, and then they'd talked about what the pair had done right and wrong. It had been surprisingly instructive, although Anne didn't think Hermione had enjoyed having her performance "constructively criticised." Neville Longbottom was humble enough to take it in the fashion that it was meant. 

"People still don't want to see that this war can hurt them," Anne said to Theo in frustration. "My friend Gabby says that of course she's going to be all right, because why would the Dark Lord attack "ordinary" people? It's like it's a movie, or a book, to her. She doesn't believe it's real. Her neighbours died last summer, but it still isn't real." 

"Of course they don't want to believe it," Theo sighed. He nodded to Ernie Macmillan as they passed him. "It's like when you were little; you were afraid of the monsters under the bed, but it was all right in the end, because your parents could always scare the monsters away. The people who haven't had family and friends hurt still think the Dark Lord and his followers aren't more than that."

"But how can you?" Anne gestured in sheer frustration. "How can you see the Dark Mark above someone's home, or know people you've known all your life are dead — dead for no reason — and _not_ be scared or worried?" 

They were standing at the top of the stairs, now; Zachariah Smith sneered at them as he brushed past. Theo and Anne both ignored him. 

"Because you're Muggleborn," Theo told her, drawing her aside out of the way. "This war is about your right to be here. For someone like your friend Gabby — she's a pureblood, is she?"

Anne nodded. 

"This war doesn't touch her until it kills her or her family. Even if she thinks it's wrong, she probably believes no one can hurt her unless she married a Muggle, or something. She's an ordinary witch, after all." He smiled bitterly. 

"It's not that _simple_," Anne burst out. "If it was that simple, you wouldn't be here!"

"No, I wouldn't." He picked up her hand and squeezed it. "But the Dark Lord doesn't give you third options. You're for him or against him." 

Anne clung to his hand tightly. It was warm and secure. 

"You know what's ironic?" she mumbled. "The first person who said that was Jesus. Who is not with me is against me.' "

"That _is_ irony." Theo closed his eyes for a moment. He looked tired, Anne thought; and younger, somehow. "I'm so glad to be back here."

"No more pretending?"

"Less, at least." He opened his eyes again, looking down at her. "Don't — don't worry about things you can't change, Anne. Just worry about now."

"I'll try." She managed to smile up at him, but that faded somewhat when she heard Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown's giggling as they went past. This wasn't the place for deep and meaningful conversations with Theo. "See you on Saturday." She pressed his hand once, and left. 

Hannah Abbott gave her an "I told you so" look when she passed her on the stairs. Anne ignored her. 


	6. Beginning

****

Chapter Six: Beginning 

A/N: And so it endsfor the moment. I'll be posting my one-shot, Distinctions, in two or three weeks. That's set approximately a month after the end of this story. 

Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed this story: Darth Roden, Dara finVidya, Emily, Emma, retkula, Arnostae, Jessamy, Three Sickles Short, RachelGranger, Hannah28, big dave, Kat Solo, morcherry, and especially Canopus who reviews everything. 

Theo made sure he wrote to his parents once a week now. The conversation with his father on New Year's Day had frightened him badly. They believed him. It didn't even cross their minds that he could be lying. Writing helped, somehow. If he told them about all the little inconsequential things that happened - the Quidditch, the jokes, the gossip, the work - then the big lies were lessened. 

"You know the worst thing?" he said to Anne one Saturday in late January. "I'm not lying, mostly. I don't even have to _tell_ the really big lies because Mum and Dad would never wonder about them. I hate it. I _hate_ it." 

"What happened in the holidays?" Anne asked. Straight to the point. 

"My father was there." Anne had dragged the chair close to the piano stool, and was sitting with her ankles crossed under it, fiddling idly with her hair. It wasdistracting. 

"Weren't you glad to see him?" 

"Of course I was!" Theo protested. "I mean, yes, it was great to see him, but I had to lie. Not just pretend. I looked him in the eye and told him I knew he was doing the right thing." He laughed, but it came out as almost a sob. "Terry asked me if he'd killed your neighbours, remember? I said I didn't know, but he was there. I know what he does. But I look at him across the breakfast table and it's _Dad._ My _father_. I can't" he trailed off helplessly. "I can't make those pictures fit together. But I know they do and it's - that's wrong. And all I can do is lie to him and tell him he's right." Theo closed his eyes. "How can he do that? How can he _be_ both of those people?"

"Move over." He opened his eyes to find Anne gesturing at him. He shuffled in the indicated direction, and she sat down firmly beside him on the stool, tucking a soothing arm around his shoulders. "I don't have any answers to that, Theo, but what else are you supposed to do?" 

Even through heavy winter robes, Anne pressed up against him was _very_ distracting, but Theo was upset enough not to notice.

Very much, anyway. 

"I don't know." He slipped an arm around her waist, and couldn't help feeling satisfied when she accepted the gesture. "I don't know. Maybe I'm selfish, doing this. Maybe I should just make a clean breast of it now. Maybe it's only going to make it harder, next year, orwhenever I have to tell them the truth." 

"It is sort of selfish." Anne countermanded the insult by leaning her head on his shoulder. "You can't pretend they aren't going to be hurt. Butwhat happens if you tell them now, Theo? This is a _war_. What happens if you stand up and say you're on the other side?" 

The thought that haunted Theo's dreams and darkened these hours spent talking to Anne. Discovery. It was only a second, a wrong glance, a careless sentence away. 

"I'm dealt with," he said coolly, staring down at the floor. "My parents wouldn't hurt me, butother people would see me as a threat. I know too much, I see too much. It'd be the same as if they discovered a spy, now. I'm too old to be overlooked." 

"Exactly." Anne's arm tightened around him. "So I supposeyou can't do anything else. I wish I could make it easier."

"You started it." Theo glanced across at Anne's shining fair head, nestled on his shoulder. This was oddly comfortable. It was true, the piano stool wasn't very wide and this room had an annoying draft at ankle level but he wanted to stay like this for as long as he could. 

Anne looked up at him. "I started it? You came and found me, that first day. Your choice, Theo, not mine."

"If you'd been anyone else, I wouldn't have come and found you," he retorted easily. 

"How nice." Anne's smile wasimpish, almost. Theo replayed that last comment in his head. 

__

No, you aren't distracted at all, are you? Even with Anne sitting this close to you and her face about three inches from yours

"I think maybe -" Theo began. 

The door creaked. 

Anne was up and back onto her chair so fast that Theo barely had time to realise it before Terry bounded into the room. 

"Hi. Anne, are you busy? It's just that I'm trying to write this essay and I can't find a book I need and I thought you could help me." 

Anne's composure was remarkable. Only the slightest of blushes gave her away. 

"I am a little busy, as a matter of fact, but I'll" 

Theo motioned discreetly towards the door. Terry had cheerfully destroyed any chance ofthings. Today, anyway. 

__

I am going to kill_ her. I am going to throw her in that bloody swamp of hers and walk away. I am going to tie her up and leave her to the Thestrals. _

"It's all right, it is getting quite late," he said, standing up. "Besides, I couldn't possibly deprive your helpless sister of your aid, now could I?" 

"I'm not _helpless,_" Terry scowled. 

"Oh. All right." Anne's voice was tinged with disappointment. Theo grasped frantically for something to say. 

"But I think we should definitely, uh, continue our, uh, conversation next Saturday," he said, torn between horror and hope. 

"Yes. Good idea. Yes. I'll see you at, um, at the DA meeting on Thursday," Anne stumbled. She snatched up her flute and folder. "Come on, Terry, let's go." 

"Great!" Terry was out the door again in a flash. Theo was glad. She had been giving some entirely too penetrating looks. He remembered the Christmas card. 

Acting on instinct, he took a couple of quick strides across the room to catch Anne by the elbow just before she walked out the door. 

"And, er, thanks. Forearlier. You know. Listening," he managed. 

"Anytime." Anne bit her lip, then smiled brilliantly. "See you." 

"Yeah." Theo let her go. Then he turned back into the room. He still had to plot painful ways to kill Terry. 

__

Dammit! 

Anne thought, later on, that she quite startled Terry. The back corners of the library were perfect for guarded conversations, but even at her most annoyed Anne couldn't remember grabbing Terry's arm tightly and fixing her with an icy glare. Part of her was still feeling giddy, but the other was _extremely_ vexed. 

"Now. Terry. I have just one thing to say to you. Learn. To. Knock."

Terry wriggled. "Anne, let _go._"

"Do you understand me?"

"Yes, yes, let go!"

Anne did let go of her younger sister, and stood back a step. Terry eyed her sullenly, rubbing her arm.

"All you had to do was say you were busy." 

"It doesn't quite work like that." In the back of her mind, Anne was uncertain of what would have happened if they _had_ sent Terry on her way - but sure that her arrival had shattered the comfortable atmosphere. 

"I told him I didn't mind if he did like you," Terry ventured.

"What?" Anne nearly shrieked. Several closer students looked around at them. She pulled her sister further into the depths of the stacks - the _last_ thing she needed right now was anyone overhearing them. 

"I sent him a Christmas card, and I said that I didn't mind if he asked you out and I thought you'd say yes." Terry frowned. "You _do_ like him, don't you?" 

"Yes - no - that is - Terry, you are the most - arrgh!" Anne threw up her hands in despair. "Look. Justif you want to come and find me, not then, okay? It's not that I don't want to see you, but I barely see The - see him as it is." 

__

No names, not here.

"Okay," Terry nodded. "You just had to _say_. I don't want to see you guys kissing anyway. That'd be...ew." She made a face. 

Anne could feel herself blushing, but she was too fed up to care. "Terry, just quit while you're ahead."

"Sorry. Can we find that book now?"

"Yes, all right!" Anne stalked ahead into the Charms section. Terry was attempting meekness, but it didn't sit easily on her. Anne had a horrible suspicion she was really trying not to giggle. 

__

Damn Terry. If she turns up next week I am going to kill_ her. _

I might just kill her anyway. I'm sure Theo would be glad to help. 

He is really quite cute, now I think about it. 

Anne let out a frustrated hiss. Damn Theo, too, for being soeverything. The DA meeting this week was going to be _hell_. 

Ahead of her, Terry giggled. 

Theo pondered luck as he made his way down the east wing corridor towards the Great Hall and lunch. He'd stayed back in Ancient Runes to ask Professor Wykeham about their last translation, so the corridors were nearly deserted. 

Luck was sochangeable. Take, for example, the luck that had led Terry to come looking for Anne on Saturday. That had been more than irritating. He was still trying to come up with a suitable method of execution. Judging by a stray comment of Anne's at the DA meeting, so was she. That had been an exercise in frustration, with Anne not a metre away and thirty other people in the room. Not to mention the smirks and giggles. Zachariah Smith had made some snide remark about Slytherins staying away from people who were too good for them - like nice Hufflepuffs - and Theo had narrowly prevented himself from punching the blond boy. Knowing that the other Hufflepuffs had given Smith a quiet talking-to later on in the evening hadn't helped anything. He didn't _want_ their help, or, worse, their approval. 

A string of childish curses in the near distance interrupted his train of thought. Theo didn't hurry. If someone was saying, "Damn, damn, damn!" it was unlikely they were in mortal peril. 

"Bloody hell! Help! Someone! Anyone! _Really_ anyone!"

He rounded the corner a little faster, and revised his opinion as soon as he had. Terry Fairleigh was neck-deep in the patch of swamp left by Fred and George Weasley, trying to grab at the rope surrounding it and the smooth flagstones of the corridor floor. She wasn't having much luck. Theo didn't realise he'd broken into a run until he was dropping to his knees and grabbing her arm. 

"Theodore!" Her face lit up. She latched on to his sleeve, and he felt himself sliding towards her. 

"No, _don't pull_!" he snapped, feeling for his wand. This was ridiculous. This was bloody _ridiculous_. Anne's little sister was drowning in a Hogwarts corridor. In a swamp left by her fellow Gryffindors, no less. Anne was going to _kill_ him if he let anything happen to Terry. He was going to kill Terry, after this, but he had to get her out first. 

He kept up a steady pull, enough to stop her sinking any further, while he tried to decide what to do. _Accio_ would be too hard, with an eleven-year-old who might be short but would weigh a good deal more than the books or quills he normally used the spell for. There had to be something — 

"Hurry up!" There was an edge of fear to Terry's voice. 

__

"Mobilicorpus!" he finally said, concentrating as hard as he could on the idea of Terry coming out of the swamp. She did, eventually, with an awful sucking sound as it let her go and she slid onto the stone floor. She lay there, gasping, and Theo sank down too, pushing his hair back from his face. He eyed the small Gryffindor girl with astonishment. What was he _doing_? 

Terry levered herself up to a sitting position. From the neck down, she was coated with stinking mud. Looking up at Theo, she smiled awkwardly. 

"Thanks." 

"Anytime," Theo replied laconically. 

Terry snorted. "I'm not doing this again!" 

"I should hope not," Theo retorted, his mood shifting to anger. "What on earth were you thinking? You could have been _killed_! Of all the stupid, reckless, Gryffindor things to do — "

"I didn't do it on purpose!" she snapped back. "It was one of you Slytherins that pushed me! I'm not stupid, even if you seem to think so!" 

Theo regarded her for a moment. Terry was different in nearly every aspect of personality from her older sister, but that indignant gaze — brown instead of blue — was the same. 

"I don't think you're stupid," he replied levelly. "I do think you have an unholy fascination with this swamp, and if you ever, ever, get too close to it again, I will make you wish you'd drowned in it this time. Is that clear?" 

Terry shifted uncertainly. "Yeah. Yeah, I know, I was too close, but I just wanted to get one of those flowers so I could find out what kind they were, and then that Mal- Mel- that blond boy in Slytherin tripped me and I fell in." 

"Didn't anyone come to help you?" asked Theo, appalled. He had idly daydreamed about doing something of the sort, after Saturday, but he hadn't _meant_ it. 

"They'd all gone to lunch, and he and those two big boys with him just walked away." Terry shrugged. 

"Why that flower?" 

"I was just curious. Swamps aren't supposed to be inside." Terry gave the plant — a small, unprepossessing white bloom — a regretful look. 

Theo sighed. "Do you still have your wand?" 

She pulled it out of one mud-filled pocket. "Here. I couldn't reach it because it was under the mud, and then" she trailed off. Theo noticed how pale she was, and clambered to his feet. He offered her a hand, and she accepted, hauling herself up. 

"Now," he began "you are going to go to the Hospital Wing. You are _not_ going to fall afoul of any more incongruous geographical features along the way." Terry giggled. "You are going to take this—" he Summoned one of the flowers with a wave of his wand "–and when lessons have finished you can go to the library and find out what it is. And in the future, you are going to leave near-death incidents to more senior members of your House who have the requisite experience in such matters." He handed her the flower. "Now scoot." 

Terry frowned up at him. "You sound like Anne." 

He eyed her warningly, and she rolled her eyes. "I'm going, I'm going!" 

Theo watched her go. A few steps down the corridor, she turned to call back over her shoulder "If I get did in trouble again, you or Anne or my friends could help me!" 

"Don't count on it," Theo muttered to himself, but to Terry he just raised an eyebrow, and then headed for lunch. 

In any event, it was Sunday before Anne saw Theo again. Saturday had proven impossible, as she'd been dragged off despite all her protests to the Slytherin/Hufflepuff Quidditch match. She'd caught a glimpse of Theo on the way there, and his expression suggested a strong desire to kick something. Her feelings had been much the same. 

On the Sunday, they snuck out to the willows on the other side of the lake. It had been Anne's suggestion; it was a chilly February day, and there was snow on the ground, but as she pointed out to Theo "all this magic has to be good for something." It also helped distract from last week'sconversation. The one they had planned to continue. Anne had not had the faintest idea how to start.

The willows were leafless, but the long branches hid them from casual view. Theo began a furious snow fight by dropping some down the neck of Anne's robes which continued until they both collapsed, laughing, and Anne conjured a bluebell-tinted flame to keep them warm. 

It _was_ cold, Anne thought, as they sat facing across to the castle, backs against a tree. She remembered doing this on another cold day nearly a year ago. 

"Brrr. It gets so _cold_ in Scotland." She snuggled closer to Theo, who was nice and warm. He responded obligingly by wrapping an arm around her shoulders. The cold air was nearly enough to hide the electric charge of contact. Maybe starting wouldn't be so hard. 

Theo, bred on the Yorkshire moors and obnoxiously impervient to the cold, smirked.

"This _was_ your idea, little Hufflepuff." 

"Did I hear any objections? Well?" 

"I must have been distracted," he grumbled. 

"By what?" Anne asked, laughing. 

"Oh, things." Theo was looking down at her, now, and the cold was fading. "I suppose your sister told you about falling into the swamp." 

"In great detail. You've earned your way into her good books, you know that?" She fiddled idly with the tassels on his green-and-silver scarf. She didn't want to talk about Terry right now. She didn't want to talk, period. Scratch conversation. She wanted

"It seems like it could be more trouble than being in her bad ones," Theo murmured. His other hand had stolen around to pick up hers, and that _was_ distracting. 

"She keeps us all on our toes," Anne agreed, but her thoughts were very far away now, dancing around things like the fact that Theo's eyes were so dark a brown as to seem black at times, and the urge she was having to play with the strands of hair that brushed the top of his scarf.

"But then, being in yours isn't easy either," Theo told her gravely. 

"And why is that?" Anne asked. Her heartbeat was sounding loudly in the quiet and the chill. 

"Because I keep getting the urge to do things thatmight not be smart." His hand drifted up to her cheek, and the one around her shoulders was playing with her hair. 

Anne barely nodded, afraid to move. "I knowI know _exactly _what you mean." _It must be the cold_, she thought fuzzily, _this wouldn't have happened if we'd stayed inside where we know the rules _but then she leaned forward enough for Theo to touch his lips to hers, and thought became just too difficult.   
Part of her was remembering what Theo said — _might not be smart _- but the part of her brain in charge was wrapping both arms around Theo, and paying no attention to anything outside the two of them. Then they had to stop, just to breathe, and Anne was looking right into his dark brown eyes and both of them were grinning fit to burst, and if someone had told her it was cold she would have laughed at them. 

A few minutes later — Anne wasn't sure — she was sitting with her head leant comfortably against Theo's shoulder, arms still wrapped around each other. The blue fire had almost died, now — the charm didn't last long — but Theo was quite warm enough. She felt him turn to rest his chin on the top of her head, tucking him against her. The charged feeling in the air of the last few months was still there, but it had ceased to be a barrier. 

"I'd ask you to come with me on the next Hogsmeade weekend," Theo began uncertainly, "but I'm afraid people might be a bit surprised." 

"I'd go, just for the looks on their faces," Anne replied, "but I've got a better idea." 

"Oh, really?" 

"Yes," she said, shifting her head so she could glimpse the castle. "How about you meet me in one of those practice rooms on the fourth floor instead? Say, about two o'clock that Saturday? The one with the piano?" 

Anne could sense Theo's smile. "It's a date." 

__

Hmmmremind me to tell Terry I won't be theretelling her to not show up wouldn't work. But I do not_ want her anywhere near there. Not after last week. _

She pulled back so she could look him in the eye. "I'd go to Hogsmeade with you if this stupid war wasn't on, you know," she said seriously.

" I'd have asked you before this, if it wasn't," Theo replied, surprising her. 

"Did you think about it?"

"Did you?" He tilted his head slightly, regarding her. 

"Just a bit." She smiled again, remembering all those conversations dancing around the point. 

"Thought so." Theo sighed, and looked out towards the castle. "We need to get back." 

"I know." He helped her to her feet — _always the gentleman —_ and she reached up to brush a brief kiss across his lips. "We're going to make this work, Theo." It was a promise as much as question. _I need this friendsh- _relationship, Anne, don't beat around the bush! _too much to let it not work. _

"We've been doing that for long enough," Theo replied. And it was true. 

Theo pushed open the door to what he now thought of as his and Anne's practice room. It was a Thursday evening, and she would not be there, but he just wanted to play. They did a lot less of that, now. He felt the silky flicker of the wards that kept sound in as he walked in the door. As soon as he'd passed them, he could hear the sound of someone picking out a tune on the piano. Stepping into the room revealed the unseen player to be Terry Fairleigh. He stopped, startled. 

She turned around as he came in, her expression curious. 

"Oh, hi, Theo. D'you want to use the piano?"

Theo nodded. "If you don't mind, I could come back later --"

He realised he meant it, too. That _was_ strange, meaningless niceties taking on life for Terry of all people. 

Terry pushed back the piano stool and rose. "Nah, I was just having a go. I don't know how to play properly." She wrinkled her nose. "I play the cello really but I couldn't bring it here. Too big. I didn't mind 'cause Mum always had to make me practice, but I've been missing it a bit." A half-grin crept across her face. "Did you kiss my sister?" 

Theo, for the hundredth time, contemplated the infinite possibilites of murder. 

"Do you know why so many Gryffindors get into trouble?" 

"McGonagall said it was because we've all got the curiosity of cats, the courage of lions, and the common sense of budgies." The dratted child giggled. "Does that mean yes? 'Cause I saw her on Sunday and she didn't pay attention to anything I said, she kept staring out the window and _smiling_." 

Theo liked the smile Terry was probably talking about. He'd liked it a lot on Saturday when it had been directed at _him_. He fixed Terry with a glare. 

"As you have previously indicated you are not averse to this turn of events, I strongly suggest you cease to discuss it." 

"Did you know you use more big words when you get angry? Okay, I know, you think I'm annoying, I'm going now, bye!" His expression must have been more intimidating than he'd thought, because she headed for the door. Theo almost felt guilty. 

Almost. 

"You know, about a 'cello, I think -" Theo began just as Terry was about to leave, then paused. _If I keep letting my tongue run away with me like this, I'll last two minutes into the summer holidays! _

Terry's head whipped around, her face lit up. "Do you know where I can find one?" 

Theo remembered the dusty storeroom he'd seen once. "Maybe. Just along the corridor." 

"Could you show me?" Terry was almost jumping up and down. Theo remembered finding this room and its piano, in his first year. The curt suggestion she find it herself died on his lips. 

Something must have shown in his face, though, because she looked up at him appealingly and said, "Please? It won't take long." 

Theo quirked an eyebrow. "Does that puppy-dog look _really_ work on people?" 

"Sometimes." She grinned. 

Theo envisioned the dust, and the mess. The involved process of finding a working cello and tuning it and the inevitable "quick" demonstration -- 

"All right, then."

" Ooh, thanks!" Terry said before shooting out into the corridor ahead of him. The possibility of discovery crossed Theo's mind, but he hadn't seen anyone else on his way here. He followed her out. 

"This way," he told her, glancing up and down the deserted passage, and headed left for the battered wooden door of the instrument room. It took a couple of good thumps before it would open, and the interior was every bit as dark and dusty as he remembered. Terry blew past him, raising clouds of dust. She stopped and groped at the wall beside the door, looking for what, Theo didn't know. 

"_Lumos." _He lifted his wand to illuminate the cluttered space. An old upright piano, the top missing, loomed out at him. Bagpipes lay slumped on the shelves that covered two walls. 

"Oops, I forgot," a voice said guiltily behind him. "_Lumos." _

"Forgot what?" he asked, straining his eyes to see anything resembling a cello. 

"No lights," Terry explained, coming forward. "Proper ones, anyway. There they are!" 

__

No lights? Must be some Muggle thing. I'll have to ask Anne. Anne

Get a grip on yourself, Nott! 

Terry fell to her knees beside a cloth-covered lump that resolved, as she hauled the covering off, into a cello. The dust made Theo cough. 

"Can you help me with the ties?" she asked appealingly. 

Theo stole a quick glance at the door to freedom, and then looked back at Terry. She was bratty, and noisyand still. 

__

they believe in you, so you end up doing things just so they won't stop believing

Shaking his head, he knelt to help her. 

Theo was late to dinner, that night. Anne found him and Terry covered with dust from head to toe, laboriously tuning an instrument that didn't seem to have been used for half a century at least. She laughed and told Theo to hold still while she brushed the dust out of his hair. He grinned at her, and ruffled her fair bob just for the look on her face. The room felt _right_ when Anne was in it. He realised, with a start, that earlier that evening had been the first time he'd been in the practice room without Anne for months. Terry jumped up, announcing that it was time for dinner and she'd be late. She banged out of the room, and Anne followed, trying to get her to tidy up first. She shot Theo back an amused glance and a blown kiss before she went. The room was silent again. 

Theo thought about this room with no one else in it, and music to fill the silence. He thought about a chair in the Slytherin Common Room tilted just slightly away from everyone, and words that could never be spoken, not there. As he exited he heard Terry protesting, a little way down the corridor, and Anne's chuckle. Silence had been banished for a long time, now. Longer than he'd realised. 

He didn't miss it. 


End file.
